happy new year!

Well, okay, it's a little bit BEFORE the new year. But you'll get over it (the, apparently, 3 of you who may or may not be reading).

Tonight I intend to be bored. And that's it. I'm trying to be content with it, but I feel like I'm the only loser who doesn't hang out with friends or family for New Year's. I'm independent, but I don't like it, I guess. Whatever.

I had the chance to go to Kirstie's and PARTY. Like, seriously. My dad would have let me. IF my brother would have gone, too. And even though my brother wasn't going, he would've said he was for me. But I just didn't feel like starting the year off that way. Oh well. I probably wouldn't have fit in with Kirstie's friends all too well, anyway.

You know, I've been complaining this whole post, but I'm actually loving right now. I feel so nice every year. The neighbors will start shooting off those illegal fireworks pretty soon. My dad will get sloppy drunk and it'll be hilarious (for parts). My mom will actually abstain for once. I'll get me a little bit of something or other. It's fun. I just wish it was more than me, that's all.

So anyway, Happy New Year's, all! May your resolutions be kept, and may your heart stay beating.

end of the year

I've decided that this is going to be my last post of the year, because it seems like I keep writing about trivial stuff, and it's kind of annoying me, so...I'll just stop until the new year.

But first, I want people to know things.

On New Year's Eve, I light candles for those I pray for. I don't know why. It's just something I do.

This year, I'm lighting a candle for
my family, for their love.
my friends, for their goodness.
Jen, for her strength.
Simone, for her health and her baby's health.
Kris and his family, for staying away.
everyone, for having lived.

OK. I think that's it. So I hope the..(zero?) readers I have will enjoy the holidays.

oh no. don't go and pull a hillary.

That's always nice to hear from friends and family members.

So I asked to go to Kirstie's house for New Year's this year, because the last two years (the only two we didn't spend together, as opposed to the, I don't know, 10 that we did) were boring and depressing. Just me, mom, and Chance. And let me tell you, sneaking alcohol when it's only yourself is just not fun at all. So I thought, since Kirstie's going to be in north Georgia with her boyfriend, that I could go up and hang out with her.

But no. I can't be trusted.

Even though the last time I drank anything was over a year ago. And even then, it was only like, a few sips. And before that, it was another year.

But no. I might be tempted by The Alcohol. Even though we will be with her parents. Even though my mother is an alcoholic and I can just as easily get it here. Even though they let Joe go up to his friend's house and don't even do anything when he comes back with a hangover.

No no. *I* can't be trusted.

Wow. I guess all of those years of me getting hammered and punching holes in the wall has caught up with me.

Wait a second....
that would be my dad.

Woops. My bad. I guess I can't be trusted to remember what I remember. Because that would just be too much.

bon idee

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love

Don't tell your secret to anyone
Because ideas are vulnerable
As soon as you say your idea out loud
Then it can go and live on its own
And you will miss it oh so much
And you will wait for its return
And you will wish it were your own
But ideas that left never come back home

Don't tell your mother that you are afraid
Don't tell your lover that your heart might break
Don't tell your gods that you no longer believe
Because as soon as you say it out loud they will leave you
And you will miss them oh so bad
And you will wait for their return
And you will wish they were your own
But gods that have left you will never grace your home

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love

Don't tell your secret to anyone
Because ideas are vulnerable
As soon as you say your ideas out loud
Then they can go and live on their own without you
And you will miss them oh so bad
And you will wait for their return
And you will wish they were your own
But ideas that left will never come back home

i'm gettin nuttin' for christmas

So I got home this afternoon after a long week of exam and reviews. I sat down in my room, ready to watch Sabrina, when a thought occurred to me: I've got two weeks off from school. I don't have a single project or assignment or worksheet or anything that I have to do over these next two weeks. I'm free for the first time in over a year.

When I thought about that, I felt so...liberated. So free. Every single weekend, every holiday, every break I have to worry about some arbitrary school thing that I end up putting off till the very last day, but worrying about all week anyway. Every single time. But this time was different. This time was good.

And then hours later, when I was sitting down playing cards, I realized that I had to do science fair.

I swear to you, I had to leave the room, I was so choked up. It's just so hard to explain, I guess. And immediately when I thought that, I felt all of the normal worry and anxiety that I feel all of the time now.

It just...it makes me sick, thinking about how blissful I made myself, and how wrecked I feel now. I guess that's kinda silly.


And now, to top it all off, I'm feeling so homesick. I miss my HOME. This house isn't my home. I don't know it, even yet. I can't even sit in the living room without weezing for hours. And I can't even say my last memories of the old house were that good, because we were still going up there when this house didn't have cable or water to take showers and watch tv, when the house was a nasty disaster.

And since the night I had my accident and cried like a baby, I haven't cried the tiniest bit. But now the gates are open, and it feels like I can't stop.

I guess you could say it's been a downer day.

oh shnap

I really love that new show on TBS, My Boys. I mean, the story's getting kinda old, but it's got so many funny parts. And they always seem to be introducing some new character that I recognize but can't place. Nice.

So I'm sure you're just dying for an exam lowdown. Well, here it is. I think I did okay on Spanish, because it was fairly straightforward. I got an 84 in APWH, which is really good, considering most people got like, 40s and 50s. And I swear, I'm not trying to brag. But I'm happy I got a good grade, and why shouldn't I be? I studied my arse off. Now today was chemistry and English. Chemistry was pretty easy, so I'm sure that went well. English was a beast, though. There were 100 questions over fricking grammar and spelling and mechanics. There must've been like, 20, 25 questions about Julius Caesar alone, which I did not know would be emphasized. Then there were the essays. Oh. Goodness. Gracious. We had to write two three-paragraphs and one five-paragraph. I kinda contradicted myself between essays, but whatever. It's not like she can grade it as one. So I don't think I did very well on that one, comparatively.

I guess I should study for Public Safety and Algebra II.

But Scrubs is coming on in...2 and a half hours, so I'm sure it can wait.


**So I got an 84 on APWH, a 102 on Spanish II, a 98 on Public Safety, and a 101 on Algebra II. That's pretty good so far, right?

things i love about this blog

1. It's like a diary, and I can analyze my feelings when I get through writing.
2. I can write WHATEVER I want and not be half as bad as some of the douchebags online.
3. It's a medium to meet new people.
4. It's a medium to keep up with old friends.
5. I can see what others are thinking.

Things I dislike

1. The judgement.
2. The fact that I get criticized every time I use a damn cuss word, even though that's just the way I am.
3. I can't always write what I really feel, because I know someone else will read it.
4. The blog templates are icky.
5. I end up hurting someone or other's feelings, which I don't want to do, but can't help, because that's just what I do.

Technology sure is fun, huh?

frosty the snowman

Went to court today. Waited for like, half an hour before they told us we were in the wrong place. Waited three hours before they called my name. My judge was a kinda old man, but really no-nonsense and very nice. I pled first offense, got a $100 fine (which somehow turned into $143, but I'm not sure how), and was told to take a 6-hour defensive driving course at Patrick Henry. It wasn't so bad.

I don't know though. I'm just so...angry. Kinda at that bitch at the attendance office who treated me nicely at first, then acted like a fucking whore when she found out I had gone to court. Slutbag.

But I don't know. I'm angry for other reasons that I can't define. I'm angry at myself because I'm not studying for finals, even though I've had at least a month. I'm kinda angry at my friends for some reason I can't place. I just keep snapping.

Ugh. I'm really disliking myself at the moment.

:-(

potter party

Sorry, it took me a day to recuperate from said party, which is why it has taken me so long to post about it.

Let us begin with a story. Actually, let us post A Story. Singular.

It all started in December of 2006, a month that is as cold as it's name suggests. One cold and windy afternoon, a girl, Hillary, got into the car with her older brother, who, for all intents and purposes, shall be named Joe. They drove and they drove to a magical place called Walmart. While looking around in the aisles, they got chips and dip and sodas galore (not to mention the Red Bull for Ms. Hillary). So they checked out at the 20 items or less Lane, ran by an extremely old woman who decided each item needed about 5 minutes to ring up. After reaching the car, the two protagonists realized that Alas, they had forgotten the milk! So Joe decided to drop Hillary off at her beautiful castle, promising to be back in time to take Hillary to her wonderful ball by 5:00.

Except Joe was delayed by the evil Dragonmaster. Once the Dragonmaster was defeated, it was already 5:30, and the people at the ball were getting angry at being kept waiting for their beautiful princess Hillary (oh yeah, I'm a princess. I thought you would have figured that out with the whole Castle thing, but whatever). So Joe got home and drove and drove as fast as he could to get to the ball. Little did he know, when Hillary got out of the car, her night was just beginning.

Princess Kelsie and Gracie said in unison, "Look, here comes Harry Potter. And what's that he's got with him? The Sorceror's Stone! Mr. Potter, why don't you tell us your story?" So Mr. Potter went into a 10 hour long story about not only the Stone, but the Chamber of Secrets and the Prisoner of Azkaban, not to mention the Goblet of Fire.

Now during all of this time, Hillary tried to keep as straight a face as she could. But sometimes she got hungry, so she had to step away. Or she had to excuse herself to the bathroom. Or she just got so excited in some parts that she sneezed! To themselves, when Mr. Potter was busy telling his story, the princesses decided to laugh and laugh and make sexual innuendos. It was grand!

But alas, Mr. Potter kept them up with his stories until 4 in the morning, and the princesses had to be nice and refreshed for their Exam Jam the following morning at 9! So they rushed off to bed, sleeping as much as they could, before the tiniest little elves Adam and James woke them up with their sunshiney hugs.

And so they went to the Exam Jam, studied, and had a wonderful (yet caffeine-charged) time. Then Princess Hillary was picked up by the Queen in her beautiful chariot, and she went home and had a royal bath.

Then later that night she dominated the world.

The end.

southern accents

Just a quick little thing before Scrubs comes on, now that I'm thinking about it:

People with southern accents aren't stupid.
All southerners aren't Republicans.
All southerners aren't racist gay-bashers in the KKK.
All southerners don't like to go muddin' or camping.
All southerners don't like country music.
All country music singers aren't southern.

And what I was saying earlier was, if Stephen Colbert purposefully changed his accent because he thought others would call him a dumb hick if he had an accent, then yeah, he thinks southerners are dumb hicks. You can't be afraid somebody will think you are something if you don't think you are.
But sure. If he did it so people could understand him or because he was forced to, then sure, he's not all bad.

Whatever.

That just really pisses me off.

baby, it's cold outside

I LOVE that song. Especially the one on the soundtrack to Elf, with Zooey Deschanel. Her voice is like syrup, I swear. I just wish I HAD the soundtrack to Elf (*wink wink*).

It's all good. Potter Party's tomorrow. I've figured out how I'm going to study for everything. Joey gets to drive Dad's Buick to school now, so we're not freezing in the morning anymore (and we have a radio, but that's not as nice). The dishes are WASHED. I'm clean.

Nice.

The one negative right now would be that I'm not getting off my arse and actually STUDYING.

Pero esta todo.

the world that has made us can no longer contain us

That was the first line, I heard, I swear. I just couldn't think of a title.

So I got my paper printed out. I went to JW's. It was actually really cool. It smelled like my Granny's house. Brought me back. So he printed out my paper, and his dad invited me to eat some barbecue. So I had the first meal I've had in a week: pulled pork, green beans, mac&cheese, mashed potatoes, bread, and fresh made sweet tea. It was heaven, I swear. I haven't had a meal so delicious since my Granny was good, no joke.

I had a really nice time, if you can't tell. And I drove home okay, even though it was dark. And I'm really happy about that, because this is only the second time I've driven since the accident, and it's coming back. Of course, I hit on my brakes a lot more than I used to (insert rim shot), but I was fine.

I've got just about everybody a present. It sucks, though, because I'm out of money. I think I'll just make everybody something. that would actually be kind of fun. We'll see.

So, I should probably go and do my homework.

Heroes comes on tonight! YAY!!!

lazy lazy weekend

so I've done nothing this weekend. Like, at all. I mean, I sat on my arse and watched movies. I shopped a little bit. Jackie gave us her old couches, so we moved those in.

But I did not study at all. And finals are in less than two weeks.

Oh, mama.


I just found out that Adam's aunt was killed Friday. She and her boyfriend were shot and killed, and her friend was injured. She was only 19, and she was 17 weeks pregnant. Pray for her.

cause i'm a puttycat!

Yay! It's December! Oh, I love this month. It's so beautiful. Today has been sooo fun.

First off, it was International Day at school, which meant half of each class was skipping out to "help" at the fair, leaving little to no work in every class. Plus, the IDF was kinda cool. Some good baklava and gingersnaps. Some not-so-good food from other countries. Not thinking about The Night too much anymore. Still over-sleeping, but I'm gonna try to fix that this weekend.

Actually, I've planned a Harry Potter weekend to overshadow the ABCFamily-bootleg-"we're-not-going-to-show-you-everything-you-pussies" Harry Potter weekend. All four Harry Potters. All in one night.

Oh yeah.

with hookers and blackjack

is my most overused phrase, apparently. Or something like that. Anyway.

Okay. This week: considerably better than last week. For starters, I'm not sick. I keep having to clear my throat, but that's just phlegm, so whatever. I've had fun conversations with my friends. Just little things.

But I can't help but feel the way I feel, which is stressed. I have a whole bunch of tests I have to study for that I can't really understand. My court date's in less than two weeks. Christmas is soon and I don't have gifts for my mom, Kelsie, Kirstie, Gracy, Grambee, P. Dan, and my other friends (who I usually get little chocolates or something cheap and generic, because, um, I'm not rich). Finals are less than two weeks away, and I really need to study. There's just not enough TIME, that's all. This weekend, I'm just going to have to spend it all studying, because every night I get home and just do homework. It shouldn't be that bad, but it is for some reason.

I figured out that when I'm stressed, I sleep a lot more. I went to sleep in Public Safety and Chemistry. I got home and took an hour nap. I'm probably about to go to bed. And I probably won't wake up until 7 tomorrow morning. But that's life. So what's up with you? Post it on your blogs and/or tell me, because nobody is updating, and I need to be entertained.

crappy crappy turkey day

I was optimistic. I was feeling better (not 100%, but getting there). All my friends were good. I woke up and ate an orange. It was nice.

But the second Joey woke up, him and Chance went at it. And it just went on all day.
and on. and on. and on.

Until Joey hit Chance in the back and left a mark at Grambee's. Then Chris took Joey with him to see Judy and Kirstie instead of ME, who was supposed to go.

Then my parents started fighting.

I still don't really trust my uncle anymore.

My Papa Dan had already eaten before we got there.

My Grambee...I don't know. I was just annoyed today after everything.


So I took a walk, which was a bad decision since my hip hurts and I was feeling woozy to begin with. When I got to the lake, I had to sit down. I sat there for about an hour before I went home.

And I thought.

About what I'm thankful for. And what I wasn't thankful for.
And when I said something good, I wouldn't feel good. And when I said something bad, I'd feel bad.

So it was crap. I didn't even eat that much, since the meal was cold for some reason.

And now I feel bad because I've been posting so much lately, and I'm sure you're sick of reading about my crappy life.

But whatever.

greetings from my deathbed

All right, so it's not that bad. Yesterday I woke up and my bum was KILLING me. I swear, it hurt soooo bad. And NOTHING helped. My grandmother said to walk, but I couldn't walk. My mom said to put aspercreme on it, but I couldn't reach. It was horrid, let me tell you.

So later that day, after laying on my right side for over an hour, I got up to use the bathroom...and promptly fell on my ass because I was so dizzy. Turns out, I had a fever of 100 degrees. So I went back to my room and tried to go to sleep, but everytime I moved even slightly, my bum would start hurting. I couldn't eat, I couldn't drink. Even when I had to eat for fear I would pass out (plus, I have to eat with my medicine), I didn't know how I would keep it down. Horrible.

So this morning I woke up, expecting to die of pain. But, to my surprise...nothing. Just a slight ache. And my fever? Not gone, but down to a nice 98.1 (which is really good, considering my normal temp is 97.1). So I watched Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars, and House (all of which I loved). Then I went on Myspace to check out what my stoner friends were up to, and it turns out...

JW, that rapscallion, got a gig last night at the Masquerade playing with Buffalo Alice. Now, I may be wrong (I really have no idea), but the Masquerade is a full-on party spot. Lots of exposure. And Buffalo Alice is a Band On The Rise. Their bassist quit right before the show, and JW weaseled his way into the slot. I'm so proud.

Now all I gots to do is write my Christmas list, and it'll be all good.

and the hits just keep on coming.

So I've got strep.
Had it since Thursday.
I had to get a shot in my bum and it hurts like mad.
I'm officially becoming insulin-resistant and am on the watch for becoming diabetic.
My throat hurts so bad I can't call any of my friends and talk to them, and none of them are online when I am.
I can't go over and cook Thanksgiving dinner with my grandmother.
Because of that, she's decided that she would rather just go to Cracker Barrel.
I've been ordered to not leave my room until Absolutely necessary.
My paper still says its 2% plagairized.
I still have to do my science fair logbook.
And study for Spanish, World History, and Public Safety.
I'm hungry.

Geez. I wish these complaint lists would start getting shorter.
Seems like all I ever do anymore is bitch.
In case I don't see ya:
happy Thanksgiving.

pencil shavings

are annoying when they get in your bookbag and don't come out.

Just chilling out, listening to more RS, starting to get to know the words.
I can't talk because my throat is about to die.
Mom is supposed to be getting a car today, but I don't know, she said that yesterday.
I got my court date. It's ironic, because it's the day Joey turns 18. I thought so, anyway.
It turns out that the friend that's gotten to second base has suddenly turned into the Second Base Queen. Ahem.
I keep thinking of all of these movies I want to watch, now that I'm free for a week. Yeah, I have homework, but....
procrastination can be a good thing sometimes.

Me and Kelsie kicked ass on our speech yesterday. I just can't say it enough. Or, rather, type it.

HA! It's Thanksgiving break, fools!
Can't wait to get cooking.
But for now..
The internet awaits.


*In light of my inability to talk, I thought I'd quote one of the best characters in a movie who never said a word until his wonderful speech at the end, posted at the right.

reading with pickles

It's been a weird week.
One of my old best friends got a girl pregnant. They're both 16.
One of my friends died.
One of my friend's aunt died.
One of my brothers almost died.
One of my teachers told us about Vietnam and Agent Orange and showed us a video and just...
Not all's fair in love and war.
I disappointed a few people this week, I know.
One of my friends got to second base and called me like, right afterwards.
One of my friends is not a friend anymore.
I have to do a paper now.

i got your silk road right here

Ok. I kinda finished my research paper. I've done the draft, and turned it into that website so they can make sure I'm not plagairizing anything. It sucked though, because half-way through Chance came in and unplugged the computer, so I lost a page of work. But it wasn't that big of a deal. I should have read Ch12 last night, but I was just so tired. I had to make rktreats for Beta, and by then I just zonked out. But I woke up earlier since I went to bed so early, and I studied for English and Spanish (!).

Joey downloaded Regina Spektor's CD Songs. I LOVE it. Her voice is so haunting. It's great.

All right. I am officially bored with talking about school.




Sucks that I have nothing else to talk about, huh?

english research paper

One of life's greatest mysteries. I have no idea what I'm doing, now that I sat down and started working on it. I mean, I know basically what I'm supposed to do: write about Frank Sinatra and his family life. But some things are a little unclear. Like, it says the Introduction part, and what's needed, but the first thing it says for the body is, "First reference to the person." How am I supposed to write the first paragraph of a paper, thesis and all, without mentioning the person I'm writing about? Maybe I'm reading it wrong. Or, just don't understand it. AND I don't know how to fix the header to use my name and not Joey's. Or if I'm allowed to use a different website than WilsonWeb, which I can't access at home and which everybody else used.

Argh. Damn my procrastination. Damn it straight to hell.

cake

JW got me turned on to the band Cake. Maybe it's The Cake. Either way, I swear I've heard them before. I just can't remember when. But they're really good. I've been listening to them nonstop.

I'be got a busy little weekend planned out for me. Gotta do my homework tonight, Kirstie's coming down this weekend, and Kelsie and me are supposed to get together Sunday and work on our speech (ahem). Possible Gracie. That'll be cool.

It's funny. If Kirstie had come down the weekend before last, we would have actually been able to drive somewhere. Now...well, que sera, sera.

Speaking of which, we're supposed to be getting $6,000 for the wreck. I guess that's good, but...whatever. You know how I feel about that.

I have to memorize "Imagine" (like that's gonna be hard). And look up Madagascar-an food. Someone mentioned cockroaches in class....I wonder if that would be allowed at the fair. We could set it up like Fear Factor or something. Ha. A thought to be considered!

I'll just go do that.

OFG IT'S COLD!
I likey.

dude

READY?
STEADY?
LET'S
GET
ORGANIZED!

Public Safety: Study for Unit Exam over bullying and sexual misconduct (resist urge to say "I've got your sexual misconduct right here." Twice is really enough).
Algebra II: Finish project. Have no clue what I'm talking about, but that's why I'm making chocolate cookies this weekend for a certain friend of mine who helped *read: gave me the answers* with the thing, so it's all good.
English II: Print Julius Caesar essay. Memorize speech. Beat the snot out of Kelsie if she does not start memorizing her part.
Chemistry I: Print out doshgone science fair forms. No witty comments for this one. That gal's a straight-up ho.
AP World History: Finish reading Chapter 8: Unification of China. Read Chapter 9: something something India. Take impossibly small notes so no one is constantly asking to borrow them and the Lost Notes/Massacre at SHS fiasco doesn't happen again.
Spanish II: Study scary Dia de los muertos words. Wear all black tomorrow. Memorize preterite verb endings.
Beta: Clear up November 11 for nursing home visit. Get marshmallows for rice krispie treats for bake sales.
OTHER: bake chocochip cookies for Steph. Renew library books before another threatening letter is stuffed into my mailbox.

Yeah. I'm sure you had fun reading about my schedule. But I figured since I check this thing everyday, I'll check it Saturday and realize that hey, I have homework.
Maybe.

i made a big whoopsie

So I don't think it's a good idea to post a lot about what happened Saturday, just that I hit another car. I totalled our car doing it. Which means no more family car. No more driving for me. My parents have to drive a car that uses twice as much gas. Insurance will go through the roof.

When I hit that woman, I thought she was dead. She has a headache.
Now she's claiming whiplash.
I hope she's just doing that to get money. I really don't want to be the cause of somebody's medical problems. That's just too much.

But it's my own fault, I guess.

I have to go to juvenile court next month.
I don't know if they'll take my license away.
We'll see.

Now I feel all listless, not wanting to do any work and wondering why I was so stupid, thinking about it over and over. I start to laugh and think, "I shouldn't be laughing." Then I cry and think, "I should be glad I'm alive."

It's weird.
But you know how overemotional I get. I'll probably get over this within a week. Hopefully.

Oh, before all of this happened, I saw Thank You For Smoking. Loved it. Hilarious.

Okay. Guess that's all.

smoothly creeping, softly sleeping

So the rest of the week was fine, I guess. I acted like an ass, because, I don't know, that's what I do.

Kelsie and I are doing the only two part recitation from Julius Caesar for extra points, and plus, it's funny. Which will be great...I guess. I just have to, you know, memorize that speech. And the pledge from Public Safety. And the Pledge of Allegiance in Spanish.

This is why I think I should invest in a tape recorder. I'm thinking if I can replay it over and over, I will be able to memorize it. I don't know. All I do know is that I SUCK at remembering stuff. I have to write EVERYTHING down somewhere. Like, I keep forgetting about the party I'm going to tonight. I go to my room and look at my calendar and I see it on the list and I'm like, "Oh, right. Completely slipped my mind." So I have no costume, but whatever. I'm not sure you have to have a costume. We'll see.

icky sicky

Monday morning:
Wake up at 5:30 am.
Realize that, hey, I am SICK. Leave a not for mom: DO NOT WAKE ME, I'M SICK, I'M STAYING HOME!
Go back to sleep.
Wake up at 8:30 am.
Go to restroom.
SCREAM BLOODY MURDER when someone else is in the bathroom.
Realize that Chance is "sick" too and my day in Nyquil bliss is ruined.
Go to kitchen.
SCREAM BLOODY MURDER when I hear a crash from the fridge.
Realize that Joey's "sick" and my day of playing my jazz in a hallucinogenic haze is ruined.
Go to bathroom again. Ask Chance to get out.
SCREAM BLOODY MURDER when my mother answers.
Realize that Mom's "sick" and my day of laying in her big, warm, comfy bed is ruined.

Tuesday: repeat.

Wednesday: Go to school. Get too much homework.
Procrastinate when I get home.
Realize that watching ANTM is out of the question, since I have so much homework.

So. That's been my week so far.

oh no. it's on. like donkey kong.

This week is homecoming week. This weekend is hall-decorating. The theme: Videogames (yes, we are in the electronic age). Sophomores get Donkey Kong.

Donkey Kong?

Jungle. Lots of jungle. And let's make the middle black, so we can put the original video game on there. But in the meantime, how about we waste time by tracing pictures of other Donkey Kong characters on to paper to hang on other people's doors, because you know, THAT'S necessary. Not the actual THEME. No. The JOKE part of it.

Wait. It's the last day. Where are the little Marios and DKs and Princess Peaches that we need to put on the little games? Well, we don't have enough paper to make them since we wasted it.

And Kelsie: where the hell were you? You left me in that hellhole alone for 4 HOURS!!! Grr.

I've got your school spirit right here.

let's all say it again

I don't know how I found a way to procrastinate this morning. I really don't. I set my alarm clock for 5 FRICKIN 30 in the morning, just so I'd wake my ass up and do the homework that I didn't do last night. It worked, for oh, 5 minutes. Yeah. So the rest of it will be done at school in the lunchroom.

And I'm sure you're wondering, "Why not just do it now, instead of screwing around on the computer?" Well, in answer to your question: bite me.

I guess I'm not nearly as much of a morning person as I thought I was, huh?

the offspring

is probably one of the most energetic bands...ever.


Yeah. I'm bored. What else is new.

I'm procrastinating. *See above.

I'm probably about to watch Ugly Betty. And Gilmore Girls. Because I'm weird like that.

Damn you Woodland High. You and your nefarious zoning.


Hey hey do that brand new thing.

things

I hate my mom, especially at 7:00 every night when the bottle's out.
I am my mom.
Do I hate myself?
I don't know.
I don't like myself at this particular moment.
I
am too critical
am too judgemental
always think my way's the right way
hold a grudge when something doesn't go the way I want it to
am egotistical, but oddly I lack self confidence
eat way too much when I'm stressed out
get over-excited about mundane things because I feel like I'm more interesting that way
dream about death (literally)
overanalyze way too much
make my friends feel bad when I'm angry at myself
don't know what to do when I "grow up"
don't think I want to go to college
never brag about my grades to people with lower grades, but inside I feel like I'm better than them, even though I know I'm not
suffer from foot-in-mouth syndrome.

And I am going to bed, because hopefully now that I've written these things, I'll be able to sleep.

babysitting someone i actually liked

So last night, just as I was sitting down to watch the previous night's ER and Ugly Betty, Standi called and said, "PleaseDearGodInHeavenTellMeYouCanBabysit." So an half an hour later, I was at Standi's, watching that insane daughter of hers.

No joke. She'd be sitting quietly, entranced by Peter Pan one minute, and the next she'd start screaming and jumping up and down on the couch, throwing the nightgown her parents left out at me. It was like watching a one-girl circus. And that child can EAT! Two bowls of pasta, one ice pop, and two packages of gummy worms, all while watching HALF of the Little Mermaid. And when she finished eating, she made me put in Finding Nemo. Luckily, that's pretty much all we did, but I guess the whole going-psycho-every-other-minute wiped her out, because she was out by 10.

I wish I could have said the same about her parents. They said they'd be back be ten, and they were. They just didn't make it inside the house until 11:30. I'll leave you to sit with that.

But I got paid $30, and I escaped the boredom of spending Friday nights alone without a car.

9 Reasons to Become an Evil Villain

Well, here it goes:

1. You will have more friends
Peter Parker was a social outcast. Norman Osborne was the popular kid. Reed Richards was a dorky scientist. Victor Von doom was a rich socialite. Anyone else sensing a pattern here? Everyone wants to get a little piece of the evil. It is like Starburst.

2. You get to laugh maniacally
Good guys don’t get to do this. No one has ever heard Superman or Batman laughing like a maniac and no one ever will. Trust me, this is something everyone wants to do. It is strangely liberating. While you may pass chances to do this every once in a while during your civilian life, you will never get the quantity of opportunities that come with a career in villainy.

3. All of a sudden, you will have the budget for all kinds of toys
Super bad guys are never broke. Not only are they never broke but they always have more resources than the hero could ever hope for. Apparently the villain racket pays very well. It also seems to be recession-proof. I hear the tax breaks are good too.

4. Hot chicks dig evil guys
You never see an evil villain with a busted ass woman. Sure, they may be dirty, rotten, and out to steal your empire, but you can always kill them if they get out of hand. Studies show that breasts of women who hang out with evil guys are an average of two cups bigger than the nice dudes chicks. Studies don’t ever lie.

5. You will be safe from everyday accidents
Evil villains are never killed in car accidents. It just doesn’t happen. You won’t slip in the shower, get smashed by a falling piano, or die of food poisoning. The only way you can be killed is in an explosion created by the hero by exposing the one flaw in your plan that no one could ever possibly foresee. Even then…

6. You don’t have to worry about anyone killing you
Evil Villains simply can not be killed. People may think you are dead but you will secretly be lounging in an easy chair on your secret desert island hideout planning your next caper. The only way you can be taken out is by another villain eviler than yourself who will subsequently take over your identity and continue upon your path of world domination.

7. You can kill anyone you want
You won’t go to jail. For some strange reason, cops never come to bust Evil villains at their homes even when the evidence is overwhelming. You could kill Superman on a live video feed in front of the entire planet and not one cop would try to arrest you. They can’t even arrest you for the stash of plutonium you have in your shed. It is in the charter when you join the union.

8. You get to dress how you want
You never have to wear a suit and tie again. You can even dress in the most outrageous outfits while demanding the world bow to your demands and no one will even make the slightest of snide comment. This could have something to do with the fact that you can kill anyone you want and can’t be killed back. Remember, no one ever made fun of Magnetos helmet…

9. No matter how weak you are, you will be more than a match for any hero facing you
“But zero, Batman would kick my ass in two shakes of a stripper’s ass…” None of that matters. The sheer newness of your evil plot will confuse the hell out of any good guy. As long as you aren’t doing something that has been done to death (ie goblin themed villains) you should have no problem getting your plans off the ground.

brief thing on my ex favorite show

online and I found Gilmore Girls spoilers at

http://www.spoilerfix.com/gg.php, because honestly, I don't know if I can take much more of the crappiness that is these last seasons. I mean, for the first time that I can remember, they resorted to physical comedy. And it was emotionally depressing. And not very witty at all. as a matter of fact, it was extremely annoying. This is where I sigh, because there goes another fantastic show down the drain.

Oh my

Seems like a lot of stuff's happened since the last time I posted. The first of which being, of course, the change from September to October. I know, I know. It's gonna be a rough 2 minutes, getting used to the weather. But you'll just have to deal with it in your own way and move on. And bring me some hot chocolate.

Anyway. Friday night, Chance had his little friends over here (including Vomit). I was worried about Vomit being here all weekend, but I was assured that he would most definitely be gone by Saturday afternoon at the latest. He's still here, though, proving once again that my parents are no good filthy liars who couldn't keep a promise if their lives were at stake. But that's not the point. The point is Friday night, this house was filled with 10 prepubescent boys. So I called Gracie and we planned that I would pick up Dogma from Blockbuster after getting the pizza for the boys. Got to Blockbuster, got my movie (and more, since I was feeling good), got the pizza, got in the car, backed out...

...and scraped into the car next to me.

I reparked (terrified) and waited for the owner of said vehicle to come out. I couldn't even look at it, I was so scared. The owner of The Scraped came out, and he just happened to be the guy that rang me up at blockbuster. Yeah, funny world. So I explained what happened, and he went over and ran his hand over the scratch...and everything disappeared except for a small scratch! I was so relieved, and I felt like such an idiot. So nothing happened with that, other than I learned to be EXTREMELY careful when parking, because I'm a dumbass, apparently.

So then I went to Gracie's and we watched Dogma, which is a hilarious movie. Saturday I woke up to the sound of 10 prepubescent boys playing FakeWrestleMania. How fun. The rest of the day was spent with my arguing with my mother about how long Vomit was actually staying, her assuring me (even at 8:30 pm) that he was not going to spend the night another night and me calling her a liar and a coward because she wouldn't just pick up the phone and tell those nasty ass parents of his to pick his ass up. She thought that would be rude.

Yeah. And dumping your kid at someone else's sleepover and leaving him there all weekend isn't rude. Coming by yesterday to pick up the kid, and upon seeing that the kid didn't want to go, just driving off, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING IF IT WAS OKAY IF HE COULD STAY, yeah, that's not rude.

So I guess you'd say me and my mom are at a bit of a standoff, with me calling her a coward and reminding her that this is EXACTLY what happened over a year ago, when Vomit ended up staying EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND, even though we were told that he absolutely, positively was leaving Saturday morning, and them eventually moving in for what we were assured would only be a month, but turned out to be a year.

Yeah. I'm just...angry, now.

the way you look tonight

is a really good song. I keep listening to it, hoping that it slips in by osmosis. That happens with songs and me often.

I get angry quicker and quicker these days. I'm quick to yell. I don't know why. I guess I'm PMSing. That's right. PMSing. Thank God. But no, I don't think that's it, because it's been going on for a while. I guess maybe I'm stressed out. And I've been feeling kinda listless. Depressed, I guess. I have no idea why.

Maybe it's because I really hate school. No, not dislike it. HATE it. I think I say this every year. It just seems...worthless. We can't even have PEP RALLIES anymore, because people almost got trampled to death. Dumbasses. All of the things that made school tolerable (i.e., eating lunch with friends, wearing your own clothes, actually learning things, not being demeaned at every opportunity) have gone. Now it's just learning useless things that will honestly never be used or necessary and being bored out of my mind most of the day, since we're not allowed to talk in class or at lunch or really all that much. And Mr. Principal there is just...despicable. I STRONGLY dislike him.

Not to mention the return of Vomit and Vomit's Mother (which I'm thinking has something to do with the fact that they've run out of money, because they're dumbasses.)

woot!

Okay, so last night was pretty fun. Lots of incredibly embarassing dancing, some of which included Britney Spears and/or the Macarena. I found out that one of my friends is a frikkin beast and could probably (though not definitely) take me in a fight, which is great, because I can't say that about many more of my friends. I got some pretty nifty gifts, like Underworld, money, poprocks, books, and BOOTS (thanks Kelsie!). Today, when everyone wakes up, we're going to eat some doughnuts and bust out the pinata (oh yes. I said pinata).

Oh, Sleepy Hollow is a boring movie. Maybe it didn't help that me and Kelsie were talking to whole time...something to ponder, surely.

AND, last but not least (and by not least I mean the best thing EVER), CONGRATULATIONS SIMONE!!! I would do the fancy link thing, but I'm just gonna tell you to click on the link on the right that says my purple monkey, because I suck at making links. Yeah. It's possible.

So...happy now!

NOOOOOOO!!!

I have a sore throat, a headache, and I feel like I'm about to throw-up.

But dammit, this is my party, and I will NOT be sick!

ha

I got my license.

Hahaha!

ha. i'm awesome

yeah. That's right. I inspire awe.


So yesterday I went to Glamour Shots in Douglassville and got a bunch of pretty pictures taken. Then we went to Up the Creek, and I ate free seafood and a smores dessert (I'm in love with marshmallows). All my parents have gotten me is a book, but that's okay. I actually was kinda not expecting it, so that was nice. I also got a phone number (yeah. Seriously. I threw it away because, um, no, but still...that's pretty nifty right there).

We've got all of the movies set up over here now, which is a relief. Now I just have to unpack the books and everything that goes in the living room and basement.

...yay?

Anyway, it was a VERY good sweet sixteen.
Love all you people who wished me a happy birthday (and those that didn't).

Wish me luck for tomorrow...even though I still don't know how to PARK.

hey, hey, guess what

It's my birthday!


Ha. I rule.

little five points

Over the years, I've experienced some good things from Georgia: Fighting with the neighbors every now and then about who's better, Georgia Tech or UGA (Viven Los Perros!). Eating at the Varsity. Whitewater. Turner Field. The close proximity to several states. But I have never been to Little Five Points. Until today, that is.

Oh. My. Goodness. Gracious. Alive.

It was like an explosion in my head, seeing all of the wonderful things. It was like the Boardwalk in Myrtle Beach, only a billion times better, because I HAD MONEY. The shops were jam-packed with stuff. Of course, I didn't BUY any of those things because, well, they were ridiculously overpriced and I can get most of them at Walmart or something. But just seeing the wide array of items was breathtaking (in an "Oh dear Goodness I am about to have a heart attack because these clothes are so PRETTY" type of way).

So we went in a few stores, ate lunch/dinner at a pizza place, where me and Gracie and Tawnya got the most monstrous calzones I have ever eaten ever. Then I convinced Standi to go ahead and get my birthday gift (which I seem to be doing a lot of, lately. The convincing people to go ahead and get the gift I pick out thing). So far, I've got a Jane Green book, Frank Sinatra biography, and 95 poems by e.e.cummings. Fantastic.

Mostly, though, the day was wonderful because of the people I was with. Not a minute went by when a wisecrack wasn't utilized.

I love it.

heart braker

Today sucked ass. The pep rally was horrible. It makes me angry just thinking about it. Moving on.

So far, I've got Kelsie, Gracie, Kirstie, Melanie, Carmen, Tawnya, and, well, myself going to my party for definite. And then Laura, Lauren, Gracy, and Stephanie are maybes because they've got to go to the game that night, so they're not sure. That was actually just really more a list to clarify it for me.

Standi said she was taking me to Little Five Points on Sunday. I've never been, but Gracie said it was fantastic, so I guess it sounds good.

We still don't have cable, but we've got gas and DSL, so I don't know. I'm bored. I never realized how much my life like, revolved around television until I didn't have it. I've been watching movies like crazy. And rereading my Nixon autobiography (mmm...Nixon....that sexy beast).

I'm pretty much settled into my room, though. I've got like, two boxes left for my room. I've been having trouble getting to sleep, but maybe this week off will fix that. I mostly just feel restless here. All I ever go is school and home. And a new home at that.

I don't know. This week we're supposed to unpack stuff since we're out of school. So...yeah. Sure. That'll be swell.

I hate that racist bastard of a principal we have. Racism is a two-way street. It's not just white people being rude to other races, but other races being rude to other races as well. I just thought I'd put that in there.

Viva la fiesta!

i'll tell you one thing

moving sure is boring.

Especially when you stay out of school the day after you move to help move little remainding stuff and, you know, actually do your homework.

And there's no cable or gas, so you can't cook or watch television.

And you've seen all of your movies 80 bajillion times.

And there's no phone, so you can't talk to your friends.

And You have to trudge all the way up to the old house to get online and take a shower.



Gross.
Happy birthday Adam!

And much respect to the people of 9/11. I didn't mean to put that last as in importance wise. I meant to put it last as in the most respectful is last. I will never forget that day, either.

moving, weekend two

ACH! My arms are KILLING me. Me and Kirstie moved stuff to that house all frikkin yesterday. Did my brothers help? NOT OFTEN ENOUGH TO KEEP MY ARMS FROM DYING, THAT'S FOR SURE.


Ah, but I'm complaining. Too bad Kirstie's not here, or she'd slap me.

I'm gonna have to miss school tomorrow, because I haven't had any time to do any of my homework. It's horrible.

Thank God Kirstie came over and helped, though. Among other things, I realized that moving is pretty boring business. I'm glad someone was there to keep me company. And she spent the night in my lonely old room, which made me feel...safer, I guess.

So today's portion, though mainly Joey and his big strong sexy man friends job, is to move the furniture. Which is good, because I realized that I couldn't unpack ANYTHING last night, because it all went on some kind of furniture. So I just cleared a path in my room and walked on home.

Boy, am I tired.

Oh, and sometime yesterday we went to the Mexican restaurant that I LOVE (which I can never go to again because of this following story): Last time we went, this freaky waiter..waited on us. He wouldn't stop talking. Now, I'm a big fan of engaging people in conversation, but I know everyone looked like they wanted him to, you know, go and put our food order in. Anyway, yesterday, the same waiter waited on us. And the worst part is, he recognized us. And he was flirting with me, for some unGodly reason. Ick. That guy didn't even look okay, alright. Just...ew.

So that's the story of how I will never have FANTASTIC Mexican food ever again. :-(

moving

So this weekend's been all about cleaning the house next door, which has not been fun, let me tell you. It's completely disgusting. Well, it's not anymore. But it was before we cleaned it.

There has been much debate over who's getting what room. Joey, of course, gets both rooms at the end of the house, because he needs his own exit and entrance. So basically it's between me and Chance over who's getting the actual bedroom and who's getting the makeshift, we have to build a closet, suck ass bedroom. So far I think I'm losing.

Next weekend we're supposed to start moving our stuff in. Supposedly, we can't do it the weekend after, even though there's no school the next, I don't know, WEEK after then. It makes no sense to me.

I tell you what: this moving thing is depressing as hell. And I haven't had time to do any of my homework.

Of course, the fact that I came home to day and started watching The Closer marathon on TNT probably hasn't helped. But I felt wallowing in self pity was a good way to spend the day.

I don't know. Whatever.

i'm in love with this speech

V: Voila!

In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the
vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation by a bygone vexation stands vivfied, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
*cuts V into poster*
The only verdict is vengeance, a vendetta, held as a votive not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and virtuous.
*giggles*
Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose. So let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

Evey: Are you, like, a crazy person?

V: I am quite sure they will say so.



*V for Vendetta

tricky lines

I'm 15. This is no surprise to anybody who knows me at all. But I have the intelligence of several 20-30 year olds. This, too, isn't new.

So why am I treated like a 5 year old?

I don't understand it. I know the difference between right and wrong. I know the chemical properties of mercury. I got to school for 8 hours a day and bring home 4 hours of homework...EVERY DAY. Hell, I know the difference between a direct and indirect object. So why doesn't my opinion count? I'm somehow looked down upon because of my age, and I'm sick of it. People patronize me because they're 10, 20 years older than me, when I'm sure I'm more intelligent than them.

What about when I'm 18 and still in high school? I'll be legally able to vote/be a juror/buy cigarettes/live alone/etc., but I won't be able to wear a short skirt to class? I can't dye my hair pink? I'm not allowed to eat outside?


Ugh. It's really just stupid.

standi's party

gave me sunburn. All over. And now I'm pink. And a little blue.


Granted, it was my fault for forgetting to put sunscreen on. And spilling ink all over myself.

But still. It hurts. And smells funny.

yeah i want cheesy poofs!

There was like, some kind of South Park marathon on last night. As much as it pains me to admit it, I sat and watched. For a while.

Every weekend seems to be the same. On Friday, I come home with tons of homework, but say, "Oh, well, I deserve ONE night of no work and relaxation." And then the rest of the weekend is all me feeling guilty for not doing my work, and then rushing to get it done by Monday on Sunday night.

Yesterday I woke up, full of good intentions. "I WILL DO MY WORK," I said to my fish. At the time I thought I imagined it, but I'm pretty sure he smirked at me. "I WILL FINISH EVERYTHING TODAY AND RELAX TOMORROW," I said to the television before turning it off. "I WILL DO ONLY MY HOMEWORK," I said to the boxes waiting for me to put books and cds in them, as we are moving within a month and it'd probably be a good idea to start packing. "Sorry Chance, but I've got to work today, no time for play," I said to my little brother. "Screw it," I said to the television, as I turned it back on and watched While You Were Sleeping for the 80th time. "I should probably pack at least a little bit up," I said to the boxes as I moved to put up my books, cd cases, and the movies I don't watch all that much. Then I played with Chance for the rest of the day, until I had every intention of going to bed, but got hooked on South Park.

Oh, to my good friend Gracie: Hope you had a fantasmigorical time in NEW YORK, you whore. You deserve it. But you better have taken tons of pictures, or I think I might just stab you in the face. :-)

19 things I attribute to my friends

1. The madness of King Henry VIII
2. My insane love of spatulas
3. My foil ball
4. The method of parboiling
5. Cellular phones
6. My taste in books/movies/politics
7. My sore throat
8. Blob O'clay
9. I rarely lie anymore
10. Beating up Chuck Woolery so bad, he never spoke a word about it to anybody, out of fear that they would come back and gut him like a fish like they threatened
11. Anarchy in the U.K.
12. Geri Hallwell leaving the Spice Girls
13. Paris Hilton "losing" her cellphone
14. The breakup of Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears
15. Coca-Cola still tasting delicious
16. Me not falling asleep in several of my classes
17. The Beatles and/or Toby Keith and/or Jay-Z
    
18. Molecular time travel. Oh, it's possible. But only for us.
    

and last but not least, the creme de la creme, the piece de resistance


19. The fact that I have someone to laugh with in all day long, people to talk about ideas with, people to argue with, to love like sisters, and to just be there for.


Yeah. I'm a cornball.

Get over it.
:-)

drama rama

These past few days I've been pissed off and trying to work out how to get to and from school for the next 15 school days, because Joey's a dumbass. But no more energy on that.

I'm starting to get into the groove of things. Getting to sleep naturally. Reading instead of watching television. Really only watching Angel in the mornings, trying to get through this season (only two or three more days of it, thank GOD).

Chris moved out today. I'm sad just thinking about it. I mean, I know he's 23 and all, and it's TIME for him to move out. It's just, he's my big brother. I barely see him as it is. Now I won't see him hardly at all. And that makes me sad.

My Spanish teacher called my parents to tell them about a good test grade. Ridiculo! Ella es loco.

Now, I'm gonna go read some condensed classics. Yepyep.

pins of guilt cut me stab me

I heard that song earlier. I think it's kinda funny that now I feel guilty. And sick. Ick.

So all this week, I come home, and I go straight to doing my homework. I don't stop until like, 5 minutes before I have to get to sleep. And this is the first week of school, mind you. Now, I knew I'd have a lot of work. I expected it. I mean, 4 honors and an AP class warrants homework. But I'm not used to this. The most I ever had this much work was maybe a few days every few weeks. Not every night. Certainly not every night the first week. Gracie seems used to it, but I'm not. So I haven't been sleeping all that well, because I haven't just RELAXED for what feels like forever. And even taking sleeping pills doesn't work. I've been exhausted for forever. And I see that it's a slippery slope, but I honestly can't sleep without muscle relaxers. So I need to stop with THAT before it turns into something, which, knowing my family, probably will.

But that's not why I feel guilty. I hit Chance earlier. Not like, "Oh, you're such an idiot, I hit you on the shoulder, haha." But full on attacked him. And he deserved it. What he did....well, it was inexcusable. And I just flew at him. He was so surprised. And even while I was doing it, I felt horrible. So I pretended to storm off to the porch, but I really just wanted to get away and calm down.

I'm not like that. I mean yeah, I slap people on the shoulder or poke them. But I don't set out to HURT them. So I went outside and just sat down for an hour. Not really thinking.

Times like these, words from good ole Nixon really work. Especially this week's ones. Yeah. I'm a cornball. Yay.

So

I have really super duper high insulin. Like, 100 or something, when the normal is 20. So that's supposedly what's wrong with me. Yeah.

how's that for pinocchio?

My mom was telling dirty jokes this weekend about Pinocchio, but she wouldn't let me hear them. Like I don't know what they were all about.

First period seems to be my humiliation class. I thought I could actually win, but instead, my votes (I use the term lightly, since there weren't many) got ripped up and the other two girls tied, causing me to revote for someone else. And so that was depressing.

Yeah, you're a big man, sitting in the back with your 8 rolls of fat and fake teeth, laughing at the girl who, even though she's bigger than the other two, is a third of your size. Emphasis on BIG.

I have a feeling I'm going to be crabby and dragging until I find out what's wrong with me.

Well, that's gonna suck.

i'm. so. tired.

I spent pretty much half of yesterday and almost all of today locked in my room. About 1 yesterday, Kirstie came over, so there was that. We had fun. I got a new bag and a new purse from Goodwill. And a skirt. I seem to always get skirts there. Hmm. Then we came back to my house and baked a blueberry muffin pie for James. It ended up being "tested", and by that I mean it got completely ate up. But I made another one today, so he'll get his blueberry muffin pie yet.

But mostly today was me reading The Once and Future King and writing my reactions to what I was reading, which generally turned out to mostly be, "Wow, this is boring," or,"I don't get it." So that was fun. Not.

But we went to look at a house for a little bit today. It was disturbing. The room I'm "getting" doesn't have any closets. So that's kinda...weird. And it has an exit on every side of the room, which is disturbing. So I really don't want to live there. But the alternative is McDonough, which is a lot worse. So that's depressing.

I finished my book at the expense of my other homework. So I think I'm gonna go and try to do that now. Or just procrastinate some more. Whatever.

whitewater and school and all that jazz

So yesterday we went to Whitewater. Much fun. I didn't really do anything but swim in the little river that goes around the park. I'm just surprised I'm not more sunburnt. But it was nice family fun, so I'm not complaining.

But the annual trip-to-some-theme-park always means one thing: summer's ending. School starts back Thursday (that's TWO days!!) and I'm pissed. I really and truly hate school. I like learning, don't get me wrong. But school isn't for learning. School is for babysitting. I can learn by watching television. Or something. Don't get me wrong, some people really need school. Like, really. "There apertmint was really sweet." That kinda thing. But Usually, I don't think I fall into that category.

And Standi wants me to babysit...for free! How retarded is that? I was promised money WEEKS ago, and now I'm not getting paid. Screw that.

Tomorrow's my doctor's appointment. Hopefully, they'll find out what's WRONG WITH ME. I'm really starting to get kinda scared, here.

Well, I hope I have fun going back and rereading this over and over, since I'm the only one reading it these days. Yay.

Now I feel guilty

I was looking through my archives, just for the fun of it, when I realized something:
There were THREE Mays. THREE Junes. THREE Julys.
That means that I've been blogging for over 2 years.
But I missed my second bloggiversary.
Oh, the shame!


How do I make it up to IMJ? Do I buy it flowers? Candy? Do I type sweet sweet words of love and admiration. I guess selling the children wouldn't be a good idea, right now. Buying back the first batch might work....

Yeah. Happy Second Anniversary to me, three months late.

yippee kai yai yai!

Went to the ob/gyn today. Said I might have bunches of little ovarian cysts. Pleasant. They also said that's not what's causing my stomach problems. So that sucks. But the treatment for the cysts (if I, in fact, have them) is birth control. Yeah. My dad was happy to hear that.

But they took my blood. Like, four whole tubes. And the nurse kept dropping them. But she was nice, so I didn't complain. What fun.

And then we went to Longhorn's and I got me a steak. I only ate half though. I licked the other half to punish anyone else who eats it except for me. I also tried a bit of my dad's watermelon margarita. Holy crap, it was good. It wasn't overly sweet. It tasted like a jolly rancher. Yummy. I also talked to Grambee about my birthday plans. She said she'd get me some boots. So I'm ecstatic. I told her my friends are getting me a Nixon mask (*wink, wink*). She asked me why I liked him so much. I told her it was because I wanted to sex him up. She's a funny girl, that grandmother of mine.

Monday we're going to Whitewater, which I know I won't enjoy, but I feel like I can't refuse. But whatever.

I just want to get whatever is going on in my stomach OUT. It hurts like hell and it's really affecting me. I lost 6 pounds between Monday and today because I can hardly eat.

Next week is going to suck ass.
Thank God for today. :-)

well, today was a lot better than the last time I posted, that's for sure.

I just had fun. And that's really what it's all about.

But I can say that I'll never look at a waterbottle in the same way again.

my recipe for shitty days

I’m just so…sad today. It started when I woke up at 5 in the morning because my stomach was killing me. I just couldn’t move at first. It still hurts, but not nearly as much.

Then, I’ve been waiting since then to call Kelsie and make sure that she was coming over. But when I got online, I saw that she e-mailed me that she wasn’t. She did this yesterday. So that was a pretty big downfall. Especially since I’m really stressing about my homework, and I was hoping she could show me how to do it. But you know. Whatever.

I stayed up until 12 last night reading TOaFK, because I was trying to free today up. But I guess I shouldn’t have worried. And I know it’s not her fault. But still. It’s not like this is an infrequent occurrence with my friends.

And to top it all off, it’s just a gloomy day. And I’m at the bottom of the list. Combine that with 50 million other things, including people in hospitals and just everything, and you’ve got the makings for a fairly crappy week, let alone a crappy day.

I guess I’ll go revisit dear King Arthur.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
Just to tell you how the rest of my day went: I ended up in the hospital from 10:30 to 3:00 so they could tell me they don't know what's wrong with me and I should schedule an appointment tomorrow. So that sucked. But the one time I actually saw a doctor...man alive, was that guy cute. So how's that for silver lining? :-)

see who's hangin' out

I got two kick-ass CDs today for $10. I got TimeLife's Modern Rock Collection, which includes hits from the Sex Pistols, the Ramones, Blondie, The Smiths, the Romantics, and soooo many more bands that I'm in love with. The other is songs by the Rat Pack. I'll listen to that later.

Yesterday was fun. Standi's daughter is so cute. Gracie said I was a bad influence, though. :-)

Next week we're supposed to start a day care for teachers with kids so they can do their pre-planning. I'm only contributing if we get paid like we're supposed to, though, because I'm sick of volunteering.

I read 5 chapters of TOAFK. only 92 to go!

Kelsie, seriously, we NEED to get together. I am not even kidding.

I watched SLC Punk! earlier. One line I liked: Drug seeking man:"Fuck you!" Drug dealing man:"Go fuck yourself, you'll get more pussy!"

Ha.

19 1/2

That's how many Beta hours I have. I really don't need anymore, but that's not stopping me from volunteering tomorrow. I expect I won't have to do much. A lot of sitting around. A lot more than Tuesday, that's for sure. I'm STILL sore from lifting all those boxes. And I've been having wicked headaches from the markers. But other than that, I think I'm okay.

I've been listening to really soulful music lately. Making me feel better. But I don't feel that bad when I'm not listening to it, so I don't know why I feel better listening to it. Ah, whatever. Confusing.

it eats you starting with your bottom

I think I'm getting a little better at Spanish then Johnathon and Andrew were. Which probably isn't that hard to do.

When I drove with my dad yesterday, there was a 3 hour block where he had to actually work and I was left with nothing to do. So I studied half of my Spanish words. And this morning, I looked over them again. I was amazed that I was able recordar (to remember) so much.

And then, amazed with my amazing skills, I decided to sit down and actually LOOK at my English project. Then I discovered that it isn't due until September 1st. I don't want to say that I'm going to put it off until then....but let's just play it by ear.

save the life of my child

Yesterday She woke up. Sh'es very weak, though. They won't know what happened until tomorrow, at the earliest. And then Kirstie came over to hang out with us. We decided to cheer ourselves up by reading horrible jokes. I've found a new knock knock joke that I'm in love with. So that was fun.

But I had forgotten that my dad asked me to drive him around the next day. So at !:00 am I realized that I had to be up in 6 hours, so I forced myself to go to sleep. And I woke up sleepy as hell. And my dad didn't even have to leave until 8, so I was pissed. But that all changed when I got behind the wheel.

I LOVE driving. You never know what's going to happen. And I got on the interstate for the second time. And I kept getting on and off it. Switching lanes. It was exciting. And I made sure my dad knew that the only way I'd drive him was if there was a No Yelling policy, which he only broke once when I went to turn the wrong way, so I was actually kinda happy. It was nice, though.

I just can't wait for the two months and 5 days to pass between me and my license. Oh yes.

i started a joke that started the whole world

All week I've been telling myself that I needed to post, just so I could record this and let it bear account to how relaxed I've been. I guess I'll start with everything to forget about today.

The first few days of the week were nice and relaxed. I wasn't doing much of anything, but I was happy doing nothing. Wednesday came around and Kirstie came over. We hung out with Joey for most of the night, which was surprisingly fun. Joey was in a good mood for a change, and he was pretty funny. We went out at like, 11 to rent Sin City, but then we realized that our card wouldn't work because we lost two of their movies and haven't paid the debt yet. So we called Chris and he told us to meet him at Walmart to get his card. When we got there, we decided it was really more worth it to buy the movie, so we did that. Met a lot of interesting people just waiting in line to buy it. So we got home and watched it (I LOVE that movie). We woke up the next day and played board games until Kirstie left.

Then today happened. We got a call that She was in the hospital. Not Kirstie or anything. I can't really say, though. So all day I've been worrying about Her and Her Family.

I just can't believe it.

ITALY WON!

So after we (my mom, dad, and I) finished watching Cellular for the 60th time, my dad was flipping through channels. We saw that the 77th minutes of the World Cup was on. So we sat and watched. and watched. and watched. I couldn't take my eyes off the game. Keep in mind that I haven't even really been following the cup. But it was just so...good. And I'm glad I tuned in. I got to see my Italy win! I picked them from the very beginning. Granted, that was just because I like Italy and have never even seen the team play. But still.

But did you see when Zidane went crazy and headbutted that guy? That was insane. You know his country's going to be throwing eggs at him when he gets home. But what a way to retire!

I loved the overtime. Not that either of the goalies actually BLOCKED anything. Some guy on the French team just flubbed his kick. But still, it was exciting.

VIVE ITALIA!

i smiled so much my face STILL hurts

Today was probably the funniest day I've had all summer.

Kelsie's mom, out of some random act of extemem kindness, decided to take us to Stonecrest to go see Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Adam was sitting in the back seat, looking grumpy and sneaking glimpses at us and smiling when we kept staring at him. He's so adorable! Then we got to the theater and watched the most KICK-ASS movie I've seen all summer. Yeah, it was hard to follow at first. And there were absolutely NO man chests. But Commodore Norrington came back and was BAMF, and that's all I needed, really. Plus, the new characters were really...interesting, for the most part.

After the movie, we three (me, Kelsie, and Gracie...I don't think I said that) went across to the food court in the mall and ate Chik-fil-a. We decided to eat outside, where it wasn't too hot and it was gorgeous and it was wonderful. Then we went back in the mall to look at accessories in Claire's. I got me a long, dangly pair of 4th of July earrings for $2. Kelsie got a smaller pair for only a dollar, but I like long dangly things, apparently, so I was fine. But I wish I had more cash, because there were so many nice things I would have loved to have. I was having crazy shopping frenzy. But Mama D eventually came by the store after we had promised her that we were coming out in just a second, a second that turned into 10 minutes. And then we went to Aeropostale to get a t-shirt she thought Kelsie would want. And then we left the mall, because Gracie had to be back home by 5.

The whole day was just...fantastic. It felt wonderful to just shop around and hang out with my friends, without any adults or brothers or sisters or anybody. Nobody but us. Kind of a glimpse into the future, I guess. An extremely limited view, but a view, nonetheless.

horrible jokes make me laugh for an hour

Honestly. My uncle told me one yesterday and I laughed until tears came out of my eyes. And Chance has some pretty bad ones, too. I have such a good time.

I can't believe France won. Bastards. Stupid Portugal. Now it's Italy and France. How lame is that? Whatever.

Mama D's apparently offered to take us to see POC2. Sounds like fun. I was planning on going to the midnight showing Thursday with Chris, but I'd rather see it with my friends. But the midnight showing is just so much FUN.

I have ringworm. But it doesn't have any symptoms of ringworm. But I have it. Which is weird. So we went to the doctor today. Then we went to Johnny's, and I stuffed myself with delicious tomato pizza and garlic bread. Yum. And I had some brocolli from yesterday that we took home from Bee's. Much fun.

Now I'm wondering how loud I can play "Clap Back" before my mom comes in here and yells at me.

What fun!

a glorious day indeed

Went to Zeh Grahnmuzzer's 'ouse. Saw the adorable little almost 7 year-old cousing Lucy and her hilarious father, my uncle, Gibbs, the Grecko-Roman! Lucy clung to me pretty much everywhere I went. She was cute. It started raining about an hour before the fireworks started, and we were worried they were going to cancel the show. But they didn't. When we got there, about halfway through, it started raining again. They kind of accelerated the display after that. So loud it burned my ears. But I LOVED it. Then Joey did his annual freak-out-the-innocent-people-that-walk-by gig where he threw firecrackers everywhere. The only sad thing was that my dad couldn't come because his back's going out. But we brought him back some food.

I LOVE July 4th. It's such a GOOD holiday.

grill

So we've started looking for houses. One is pretty close to Kelsie's house, actually. Like, 5 minutes or so. And the other is closer to Gracy's house, but not as much. Then there's the other house that we're hoping for that I can't describe. It's kinda scary. But moving on.

I don't know what to make for Independence Day. I normally make like a pie or something sweet. It usually involves Jello or pudding, something quick and instant that doesn't take a while to make because I hate cooking summer recipes. But I want to make something different. My mom's making blackberry pies because we picked 2 big bowls of 'em. Ach ach ach.

I want to watch the 3rd and 4th seasons of Angel, but nooooo. Adam won't let me borrow them. Stupid Chris's friends, not trusting me. Even though I've known longer than I've known Gracie and Kelsie combined. But whatever, you know. Don't trust me. Fine. I'll just key his car.

But I guess that would be why he doesn't trust me in the first place...much to ponder.

so he loaded up the wagon and he moved to d.c.

Cleaned yesterday.
sat around today.
Picking blackberries tomorrow.
Studying and reading in the very near future.


I really and truly love summer.

indian springs

That's where we went today. We spent 4 hours at that little beach. It was so much fun. I got such the sunburn. And then, when we decided to go, it started to rain. So we stopped by a Pizza Hut and ate sausage and/or cheese pizza. It was delicious.

It's just fun when you get to spend a whole day with 4/6 of your family. I'm exhausted, that's how much fun I had.

sideshow bob's a psychopath who uses proper kelsey grammar

Finally got my book. I guess I really shouldn't have complained. Me and Chance are going to read it together, so then maybe I'll actually pay attention to it. I don't know how long he'll like this, though. We'll see. I think it'll be fun. But that's just me.

We went to the mall today and I got some much needed jeans. My mom got a suit, which I think is beautiful. It's grey with little pink butterflies stitched into it. Gorgeous. Then we ate at Olive Garden for like, 2 1/2 hours. We just got back a little while ago, actually. It was a fun day. I like being with my family. Chance is going to bible camp next week, so I'll have the house mostly to myself. Yay for that.

Spanish homework sucks ass. Kelsie, you need to be calling me so we can do that thing where we study and whatnot. SOON. yep yep.

my amazon order

So a few weeks ago, I ordered two things off of amazon.com: The Once and Future King for my summer reading assignment, and Reefer Madness for...well, I just like Reefer Madness and could never find it anywhere. I got the movie within a week. Still waiting for the book. And I realize that it takes longer from a private buyer. But it shouldn't be taking this much longer. And I REALLY need that book, like, soon. So there's that.

Yesterday was a fun day, comparitively. I volunteered with Gracie at the school, where we talked and talked and talked while stickering, delivering mail, separating emergency books, and dividing papers into groups of ten. So that was fun. Then, at like 8:00, Kelsie finally decides to pick up the damn phone and talk to me for the first time in what felt like forever. And we caught up on everything. We discovered that my fish either loves or hates Gracie (and has no feelings whatsoever for Gracy). It was an interesting conversation.

So now I'm back to my lazybones self, trying not to think about anything. Just watching tv and getting fatter by the minute. Which I like.

Oh. A few days ago I got Ya-Yas in Bloom and The Devil Wears Prada. Ya-Yas was pretty good. Didn't have Sidda in there as much as I woulda liked, but whatever. And I was expecting Devil to be some amazing revenge story, but it was really just about a girl who became a slave to a fashionista. But it was alright.

Yep yep.

they've all gone to look for america

first sentence I heard, swanny to goodness.

Well, Kirstie finally came over. She's a demon child, for certain. I know this because she tempted me with the demon weed and forced me to drink MOOSEHEAD beer, which tastes like testicles, I swear. But she's not really a demon child. We were just having fun. And I didn't partake in the bowl sharing, though temptation was a bitch to slap down. Enough about that, though. It's starting to make my mind all dark just thinking about it.

Kirstie distracted me from everything with tales of her, ahem, adventures. Really, um, special, I guess would be the term. And she talked to her boyfriend every five minutes, which sounds rude, but was actually really funny. And this morning we woke up and barely moved all day except to walk to Ryan's and stuff ourselves. And we got back and barely moved some more.

Thank God for Kirstie.

Oh. She told me a joke. Really corny, but I love it.

What would they call me if I had a toe on my knee?

TONY!

sew

We're actually going to try to sell the house. When my parents told me, I was really fine with it. They kept looking at me like they were expecting a break down, which annoyed me. I wait to break down in the privacy of my room, usually. But I didn't. I haven't. I actually have started taking down stuff in my room, hoping that I can put it back up soon, but I know I won't be able to. And I was so happy yesterday when Kirstie said she was coming over. I'd finally be able to talk to somebody about this, instead of turning to my pathetic little blog. But not. She ended up staying at her dad's. So I probably won't even get to see her. And Kelsie said not to call her until Monday, Gracie was just leaving when I called her, so, here I am. Last night, I actually thought about calling Johnny warbucks and seeing if we can hang out. I don't know if I would have asked to get high or not, honestly. I really felt like just saying, "Screw it." But I resisted the urge to call him. So there's that.

I've lived in this house for over 11 years. And yeah, I know it's just a house: but it's MY house. It's where I grew up. I don't remember living in any other place. So. Yeah. And there's more that's making me sad, and there's other stuff, but I can't go into it. I think I'm just gonna go and sleep now.

silent night/ 7 o'clock news

I'm in love with that Simon and Garfunkel song. Not just because it sounds pretty. Oh no. Because it's overlaid with the news, and the news mentions Nixon. Yes. I'm crazy. Just hearing the name spoken in a tone that doesn't suggest the speaker would like to rip his throat out is thrilling. Well...anyway.

I saw The Breakup yesterday. Wasn't really that good. The previews played it up to be this big comedy, but it wasn't. Kinda depressing, actually. But then I got to eat at Red Lobster, so it was all good.

Me and Gracie are volunteering at the school on Tuesday. Should be fun. And Kirstie's coming over...eventually. I finally got Reefer Madness in the mail and have already watched it. I love it.

I got a new cowgirl hat. Beautiful. I'm in love with it. I told Gracie that I wanted to marry it and have lots of countrified kids with hat shaped heads. Wonderful.

Trying to be chipper. Guess it's working.

clifton and clyde

I'm at my grandmother's house. Yay.

It's weird. I've known my grandfather since I've been born (obviously). But I never knew he had a twin brother until a little less than a year ago. I met him today. It was scary. Their mannerisms were exactly the same, from the fact that they wear long sleeve shorts and jeans to the way they cough. Clyde was funny, though. He and my Granddad were having fun arguing.

His neighbor gave us a whole garbage bag full of squash. Never had it. Guess I'm gonna be trying it soon. We also got some nice cucumbers and peaches. And Bee grew banana peppers, hot peppers, tomatoes, and cabbages. Home grown food rocks.

The only thing that sucks about this house is the fact that there is no conditioner. Honestly, how is my hair supposed to say soft and shiny? :-)

what do you get the man who goes commando?

Next Sunday is Father's Day. I have no idea what to get him. I could go with the normal

Satirical T-shirt
B-list movie starring Dan Akroyd
or
Coffee cup

but I honestly think those are all played out. I could go with the more traditional gifts that other daughters give their fathers, like

power tools
a remote control
a tie
socks
a lowjack

but I've never gotten him these gifts because

he hates power tools. Never uses them.
He has a wide collection of remote controls.
Never wears ties.
Rarely wears socks.
I don't even really know what a lowjack is, or if it really is an acceptabel Father's Day present.

What's a girl to do?

daniel powter must die

Seriously. I'm sick of that song.

Okay, so I'm gonna start off with my bad thoughts because I'll hopefully cheer myself up later with the good ones. We didn't get the loan on our house. This means that we're almost officially bankrupt. We have one last resource, and I'm praying for it. But if we don't get that, then we're out of our house. This is not good. So that's the sad things.

The good things were I got to spend time with my friends. We watched the movie awards and bet on who would win. I got a lot of pennies, let me tell you. Dane Cook and Wayne's World filled up the rest of our time. And this morning we got up and just talked. I love those guys. "Where'd you get them pink $50s" indeed.

Man, it's hot as hell in here. No, let's make that more southern. I'm hotter than a greased up jackrabbit in a frying pan. Was that better?

buffy, the slayer of the vamPIRES

So I finished the season. Chris thinks I'm a freak because I finished it in a week, but I can live with that. It was really good. I was starting to miss Oz towards the end, but still. I loved the Trio. Well, okay, I just loved Andrew and Jonathan, but whatever. And when Willow went crazy, I laughed my head off. The musical I especially loved. And so ends the ramblings of my addiction.

Well, I'm seeing my friends today. Yay! Hmm...what else, what else? I haven't really done much else.

What and eventful summer this is turning out to be...

flowers never bend in the rainfall

Kirstie has a boyfriend. Again. I have no idea who this person is. Again. He's going to college in the fall. It doesn't seem like we're at that age where that should be happening. I don't know.

I'm so unsure of myself for some reason. I mean, I've never been very assertive, but lately, something's just different. Maybe it's because I don't have my friends there all the time. And that thought makes me sad, because that means I can't stand alone. Man, I sure have some depressing thoughts. I would scrap this post if I didn't think it would make me feel better.

I need human interaction. Ach vach.

ampersands

So. Buffy. I succumbed. I was bored. I can't stop watching it. It's like I have to know what's coming next. It's pretty much the same episode repeated, but still. I just watched the first disc of season 3. I've been watching it all day. It's like I'm ManicBuffyFied.

Dammit Simone for making me give it a chance! And damn you Chris for buying all 7 seasons!

Just kidding. Sort of.

they grow up so fast

**this post is just an "ode" to my brother. Me rambling. Just to let you know...

So when I was born, my mom's mom was holding me in a little carseat thing when I first met Joey. He supposedly said, "She's pwetty gwanny. Bye bye!" And from what I hear, he hasn't liked me all that much since she didn't take me home with her and he got a new baby sister. As the stories go, Joey had been weened off the bottle, but the second I started using one, he had to have one, too. He also used to hit me a lot. Like a normal older brother, I guess. One day (when I could walk), he was sitting, watching TV, and I came past him and just thwacked him on the head. BAM. I'm sure I've told this story, before though, but this is one of the few stories I have of me and Joey when I got my revenge. But I loved my brother.

A few years later, when he had friends and I had...well, just Kirstie, I guess... I would (and sometimes Kirstie would, too) sit outside his room for hours hoping that he would play a game with me. Him and his friends. They would throw stuff at me, and I'd laugh it off, and I still wanted to play with him more than anything. I was (and still am, I suppose) a fat kid, so they thought it was funny. I didn't (and still don't, usually) look at myself as a fat kid, so I didn't get what they were laughing at. But those days that he did deign to play with me, I was so happy. I loved my brother.


When Chance was born, I had someone new to play with. I bugged the baby and my parents more and Joey less. Joey played with Chris, mostly, and sometimes they'd let me wrestle with them in the playroom. I loved my brother.

As the years have gone on, Joey and I have less and less in common. Sure, we have the same sense of humor. And over the summers, we all play video games and cook for eachother (well...I cook for everybody and they tell me I suck at cooking, but they still eat it anyway). We have a good time. I love my brother.

This year, since he's been driving me to school, I feel like I'm getting to spend more time with Joey. I understand his crappy music taste better. I know inside jokes. Which is why everytime something comes for him from colleges begging him to go I get so sad. He got a catalogue from NYU today. I have a feeling that he's not going to stay in this house much longer, especially since he turns 18 come Christmas. God, I'll miss my brother. I love my brother.

10 hours + 2 kids = $60

So a few weeks ago, my dad mentions to his coworker that I'm a babysitter (which isn't REALLY a lie, since I've babysat Chance, but it IS a lie because I've never babysat anyone else). She doesn't take him up on the offer...then. Last night he calls and says, "Yeah, she really needs a babysitter from the morning until about 3:00 in the afternoon." Sure. Sounds fine. $5 an hour, Kelsie says. Dad comes home. Turns out "morning" means "wake-your-ass-up-at-five-o'clock-in-the- freaking-morning." So I woke up. And I went. And it began.

What Dad didn't tell me was that the three year old has cystic fibrosis. He also didn't tell me that the five year-old is legally retarded (but I didn't really notice it. She seemed fine except for she didn't know how to count, which I chalked up to lack of interest). So that was pretty exhausting.

So the three year-old shit in orange. That was pretty nasty. They swam around naked in their paddling pool, which was ok, because they were just having fun. Five put on her shoes, went around the building (where I had no clue what was going on) and all of the sudden I hear her call, "Can you bring me some toilet paper?!" I thought that was kinda funny.

The parents didn't show up at 3:00, though. By 4:30, I was feeling pretty nauseous and honestly just pissed off. That little girl pooped again and I just couldn't take it. Orange is just not the color poop is supposed to be. So I threw up. And I heard Five screaming her lungs out, and I thought it was just because she was scared that I was throwing up. But I went out there and she was hysterical. She got stung by a hornet. I think she was exaggerating, though, because when I called my mom to ask for advice, she asked for the phone, and the second she got it, she goes (in a completely calm voice), "Hi there! Whatcha doin'?" Hardy har.

So, that was my day. I told them $5 an hour, but when we got to the bank, the dad said, "Is $60 okay?" I was not about to say, "Nope, I NEED $50 exactly." I think I deserved it after them driving me crazy for standing me up. And I'm starving, because when I made myself some noodles, they just HAD to have some.

Num Num Num.

school's out for summer

I'm so depressed. But in a happy way, I guess. I'm happy that I'm out of my freshmen year. I'm getting my license in 4 months.

But at the same time I'm depressed because I know I won't get to see my friends everyday. No matter how much we try, it's so hard for us to just get together for a day or two. Spending the night is next to impossible. And we usually don't get together until a week before school, when we'll see eachother soon anyways. But anyway. I'll try to work that out...

Last night Chris took me to see X-Men 3 at the midnight showing. I liked it. It sucked as an X-men comic/movie, but it was a pretty good movie movie. The one line...oh, that was just hilarious. We went with Adam and his girlfriend. At first I was shy, like I always am around people I don't know, but soon we were having a pretty good time. We didn't get home until 2:30, though. And then I couldn't get to sleep. So I have been awake since 6:30 yesterday morning. I'm tired, but I feel like I need to DO something, and not just sit here and do what I usually do.

Most of the day was playing cards. I'm the queen of Bullshit. Like my mom pointed out, I'm not sure that's a bragging point, but....I'm also pretty good at Speed. But that's more a game of chance. The appraiser came today. Our house needs to be worth at least $150,000 in order for us to get our loan refinanced. If we don't, then we're going to have to move. But I'm trying not to think about that. That's why we've been working on the house. But agh. I'll stop this now.

I'm looking forward to barbecuing and staying at my grandmother's and sleeping and showering in the morning and taking walks and sunscreen and attempting to hang out with my friends and..everything, I guess. I just hope it starts soon. I still feel like I'm going to school on Monday. Ew.

i got pennies for my thoughts now i'm rich

American Idol angers me. They should just shoot Paula and be done with it.

House was the PiMp. I enjoyed it immensely. Kind of a cliffhanger, but not enough to make you go crazy, which I like. Reminded me of my friends when they're high.

I realized that I've been invoking the name of the Cookie Monster when I can't think of anything else to say. I'll try to stop that. But it's so much fun to just go Num Num Num. You have no idea. I don't even like Sesame Street.

Today was the Last Tuesday. I'm sad. We at cake in the senior courtyard and won more suck-up awards. It was fun. The lunch was nasty, though. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are not supposed to be gray, no matter what the administrators may tell us. Brown-baggin' it it is.

There was a fight this morning, followed by the oft-repeated speech by Papa Principal about his former career as a discipline officer and how he'll personally OVERSEE the arrest of those caught fighting or causing general mischief.

I've been putting off my work since I got home. I'll put it off more by telling myself I'll do it when I wake up. But I won't, because I've grown accustomed to watching Angel before I leave school. Argh.

I should be studying how to conjugate Spanish verbs and whatnot. Kelsie is the shnitzelfritz, as is Gracie. I can color well when I put my mind to it (which is surprising).

I'm trying to convince Chris to take me to the midnight showing of X-men 3 on Thursday night (well, technically, Friday morning). It depends on whether his girlfriend wants to go with him. I think maybe I can still work around that. I could go with zeros in my classes and be perfectly fine.

I'm happy.

it's called 'intuition'

Ha. I'm trying my hardest not to lord it over my friend. I KNEW ALL ALONG! He asked how. I'M JUST A NINJA LIKE THAT. Ah, I'm hyper. Red Bull does that. But tis sooo good. Tomorrow is the honor's thing. I wish I had clothes that I actually looked good in. Agh. Tonight was the SERIES finale of That 70's Show. This last year sucked, but the last episode was good. It was the whole Topher Grace/Ashton Kutcher return. It was satisfying. And then E.R. comes on in a little bit. Thank God all of these shows are ending. I'm becoming too obsessed with them. Crazy.


My parents forgot their anniversary Wednesday. I thought it was hilarious myself. I think that it's a good thing. I don't reckon that a whole lot of people agree with me. Spanish is fun. Gracie's MIA and I miss her. Next week's going to be messed up. I'm trying to be as happy as I possibly can be. But I'm sad that everything's ending! Well, I mean, I've still got three years. But it's going to be different. Let's hope it'll be better.

I got rejected. Twice. By the same person. All in one hour. In different ways, of course. But still. At least I tried. I can always say that. It was a long shot anyway. COOKIE MONSTER. That was just there to distract you.

Okay. I want a Yoo-Hoo real bad. But there are none! Maybe a Chocolate Soldier. Mmm. My mom broke her tooth biting into a Nutter Butter. Ew. I watched a video about mollusks. It was creepy. Anything you don't normally see in everyday life scares me.

And that was my day. And my thoughts. And...everything. Thank God for Red Bull.

sorry about that

The post directly below this one is just me kicking around ideas for my project. Sorry if it bored you to death. It almost got me too.

Death and Survival are a major theme in Jane Eyre. The most major example of this is the metaphorical death of Jane as she leaves Thornfield Manor, Mr. Rochester, and almost everything she has in order to escape temptation. She loses all of her money afterwards, and must beg on the streets for a job or something to eat. Jane finds shelter with the family of a minister, St. John Rivers, where she falls ill and is helpless, relying on others to feed and clothe her. This is the rebirth of Jane as a new, nearly independent woman. There are also many literal instances of life and death. Both Mrs. Reed and Helen Burns die in the novel. Both of these characters have had a profound effect on some part of Jane's life. Mrs. Reed made her vengeful, Helen Burns made her forgiving. Jane spent her time on their respective death beds, listening to words that had the potential to change her life. Bertha Mason, the wife of Mr. Rochester, killed herself, marking the change of Mr. Rochester's life. Her death allowed Jane to come back to him in the end, eventually marrying him. Mr. Rochester himself has had a few near-death accidents. The first was when he met Jane, when his horse toppled over on icy ground. Next, when Bertha tried to kill him by setting fire to his bed, where Jane saved him once again. The final time, which happened when Jane was gone, left Mr. Rochester blind and lacking his hand, which can be to show the reader how vulnerable this man is without his one true love.

Fire and Water are significant symbols in Jane Eyre. The fire in Jane's vehemence is counterbalanced by the calmness she feels in her ordinary life, like water to that fire. The warmth in Jane's heart, given to her by the love she has for Mr. Rochester, is just as soon turned to ice when she realizes that she cannot have him.

david bowie is my life

But that's not what I'm writing about, unfortunately. Some day, maybe he'll get a post all of his own. But now all he gets is a title. Loser.

Anyway. Friday was alright. Yesterday we worked on cleaning the house for the appraiser coming either Monday or Tuesday. I didn't sneeze once. Of course, I was mostly just going through the books to give to Goodwill, but whatever. Found some very disgusting things kept in and around the fridge. Still makes me a little sick, now that I think about it. And today I tried to help my dad paint the bathroom. I put a layer of paint over every single wall. Of course, NONE of it is even. It looks almost like it did before, except now it looks cleaner. And we did this in mostly silence, because my mom didn't want to be disturbed. Thank goodness Mother's day is only one day of the year. This morning I cooked muffins AND a cake. Crazy.

I miss my fish. I've been out of my room for most of the weekend, not holed up watching movies like I usually am. Poor little bugger. I also haven't done ANY school work. For the third weekend in a row. Even though I have THREE projects due withing the next week. But in my defense, I was working, so I don't know. Doesn't seem to appease my conscience all that much.

Oh, I LOVED the finale of Malcom in the Middle. It was hilarious. They really treated that show badly over the years, proven by the fact that they didn't even get an extra 30 minutes. But whatever. It was fantastic.

That probably sums up everything you ever wanted to know about my weekend. Tune in next time for my ranting about the EOCTs or my poetry project. I'm sure you'll be sitting on the edge of your seat then.