tricky lines

I'm 15. This is no surprise to anybody who knows me at all. But I have the intelligence of several 20-30 year olds. This, too, isn't new.

So why am I treated like a 5 year old?

I don't understand it. I know the difference between right and wrong. I know the chemical properties of mercury. I got to school for 8 hours a day and bring home 4 hours of homework...EVERY DAY. Hell, I know the difference between a direct and indirect object. So why doesn't my opinion count? I'm somehow looked down upon because of my age, and I'm sick of it. People patronize me because they're 10, 20 years older than me, when I'm sure I'm more intelligent than them.

What about when I'm 18 and still in high school? I'll be legally able to vote/be a juror/buy cigarettes/live alone/etc., but I won't be able to wear a short skirt to class? I can't dye my hair pink? I'm not allowed to eat outside?


Ugh. It's really just stupid.

standi's party

gave me sunburn. All over. And now I'm pink. And a little blue.


Granted, it was my fault for forgetting to put sunscreen on. And spilling ink all over myself.

But still. It hurts. And smells funny.

yeah i want cheesy poofs!

There was like, some kind of South Park marathon on last night. As much as it pains me to admit it, I sat and watched. For a while.

Every weekend seems to be the same. On Friday, I come home with tons of homework, but say, "Oh, well, I deserve ONE night of no work and relaxation." And then the rest of the weekend is all me feeling guilty for not doing my work, and then rushing to get it done by Monday on Sunday night.

Yesterday I woke up, full of good intentions. "I WILL DO MY WORK," I said to my fish. At the time I thought I imagined it, but I'm pretty sure he smirked at me. "I WILL FINISH EVERYTHING TODAY AND RELAX TOMORROW," I said to the television before turning it off. "I WILL DO ONLY MY HOMEWORK," I said to the boxes waiting for me to put books and cds in them, as we are moving within a month and it'd probably be a good idea to start packing. "Sorry Chance, but I've got to work today, no time for play," I said to my little brother. "Screw it," I said to the television, as I turned it back on and watched While You Were Sleeping for the 80th time. "I should probably pack at least a little bit up," I said to the boxes as I moved to put up my books, cd cases, and the movies I don't watch all that much. Then I played with Chance for the rest of the day, until I had every intention of going to bed, but got hooked on South Park.

Oh, to my good friend Gracie: Hope you had a fantasmigorical time in NEW YORK, you whore. You deserve it. But you better have taken tons of pictures, or I think I might just stab you in the face. :-)

19 things I attribute to my friends

1. The madness of King Henry VIII
2. My insane love of spatulas
3. My foil ball
4. The method of parboiling
5. Cellular phones
6. My taste in books/movies/politics
7. My sore throat
8. Blob O'clay
9. I rarely lie anymore
10. Beating up Chuck Woolery so bad, he never spoke a word about it to anybody, out of fear that they would come back and gut him like a fish like they threatened
11. Anarchy in the U.K.
12. Geri Hallwell leaving the Spice Girls
13. Paris Hilton "losing" her cellphone
14. The breakup of Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears
15. Coca-Cola still tasting delicious
16. Me not falling asleep in several of my classes
17. The Beatles and/or Toby Keith and/or Jay-Z
    
18. Molecular time travel. Oh, it's possible. But only for us.
    

and last but not least, the creme de la creme, the piece de resistance


19. The fact that I have someone to laugh with in all day long, people to talk about ideas with, people to argue with, to love like sisters, and to just be there for.


Yeah. I'm a cornball.

Get over it.
:-)

drama rama

These past few days I've been pissed off and trying to work out how to get to and from school for the next 15 school days, because Joey's a dumbass. But no more energy on that.

I'm starting to get into the groove of things. Getting to sleep naturally. Reading instead of watching television. Really only watching Angel in the mornings, trying to get through this season (only two or three more days of it, thank GOD).

Chris moved out today. I'm sad just thinking about it. I mean, I know he's 23 and all, and it's TIME for him to move out. It's just, he's my big brother. I barely see him as it is. Now I won't see him hardly at all. And that makes me sad.

My Spanish teacher called my parents to tell them about a good test grade. Ridiculo! Ella es loco.

Now, I'm gonna go read some condensed classics. Yepyep.

pins of guilt cut me stab me

I heard that song earlier. I think it's kinda funny that now I feel guilty. And sick. Ick.

So all this week, I come home, and I go straight to doing my homework. I don't stop until like, 5 minutes before I have to get to sleep. And this is the first week of school, mind you. Now, I knew I'd have a lot of work. I expected it. I mean, 4 honors and an AP class warrants homework. But I'm not used to this. The most I ever had this much work was maybe a few days every few weeks. Not every night. Certainly not every night the first week. Gracie seems used to it, but I'm not. So I haven't been sleeping all that well, because I haven't just RELAXED for what feels like forever. And even taking sleeping pills doesn't work. I've been exhausted for forever. And I see that it's a slippery slope, but I honestly can't sleep without muscle relaxers. So I need to stop with THAT before it turns into something, which, knowing my family, probably will.

But that's not why I feel guilty. I hit Chance earlier. Not like, "Oh, you're such an idiot, I hit you on the shoulder, haha." But full on attacked him. And he deserved it. What he did....well, it was inexcusable. And I just flew at him. He was so surprised. And even while I was doing it, I felt horrible. So I pretended to storm off to the porch, but I really just wanted to get away and calm down.

I'm not like that. I mean yeah, I slap people on the shoulder or poke them. But I don't set out to HURT them. So I went outside and just sat down for an hour. Not really thinking.

Times like these, words from good ole Nixon really work. Especially this week's ones. Yeah. I'm a cornball. Yay.

So

I have really super duper high insulin. Like, 100 or something, when the normal is 20. So that's supposedly what's wrong with me. Yeah.

how's that for pinocchio?

My mom was telling dirty jokes this weekend about Pinocchio, but she wouldn't let me hear them. Like I don't know what they were all about.

First period seems to be my humiliation class. I thought I could actually win, but instead, my votes (I use the term lightly, since there weren't many) got ripped up and the other two girls tied, causing me to revote for someone else. And so that was depressing.

Yeah, you're a big man, sitting in the back with your 8 rolls of fat and fake teeth, laughing at the girl who, even though she's bigger than the other two, is a third of your size. Emphasis on BIG.

I have a feeling I'm going to be crabby and dragging until I find out what's wrong with me.

Well, that's gonna suck.

i'm. so. tired.

I spent pretty much half of yesterday and almost all of today locked in my room. About 1 yesterday, Kirstie came over, so there was that. We had fun. I got a new bag and a new purse from Goodwill. And a skirt. I seem to always get skirts there. Hmm. Then we came back to my house and baked a blueberry muffin pie for James. It ended up being "tested", and by that I mean it got completely ate up. But I made another one today, so he'll get his blueberry muffin pie yet.

But mostly today was me reading The Once and Future King and writing my reactions to what I was reading, which generally turned out to mostly be, "Wow, this is boring," or,"I don't get it." So that was fun. Not.

But we went to look at a house for a little bit today. It was disturbing. The room I'm "getting" doesn't have any closets. So that's kinda...weird. And it has an exit on every side of the room, which is disturbing. So I really don't want to live there. But the alternative is McDonough, which is a lot worse. So that's depressing.

I finished my book at the expense of my other homework. So I think I'm gonna go and try to do that now. Or just procrastinate some more. Whatever.

whitewater and school and all that jazz

So yesterday we went to Whitewater. Much fun. I didn't really do anything but swim in the little river that goes around the park. I'm just surprised I'm not more sunburnt. But it was nice family fun, so I'm not complaining.

But the annual trip-to-some-theme-park always means one thing: summer's ending. School starts back Thursday (that's TWO days!!) and I'm pissed. I really and truly hate school. I like learning, don't get me wrong. But school isn't for learning. School is for babysitting. I can learn by watching television. Or something. Don't get me wrong, some people really need school. Like, really. "There apertmint was really sweet." That kinda thing. But Usually, I don't think I fall into that category.

And Standi wants me to babysit...for free! How retarded is that? I was promised money WEEKS ago, and now I'm not getting paid. Screw that.

Tomorrow's my doctor's appointment. Hopefully, they'll find out what's WRONG WITH ME. I'm really starting to get kinda scared, here.

Well, I hope I have fun going back and rereading this over and over, since I'm the only one reading it these days. Yay.