someone asked me today if i had the choice to see or to breathe, which would i choose. i thought about it, and said to breeathe. i could live without seeing. adjust to it. as a matter of fact, the ways my eyes are right now (and they're getting much worse every day), i might be blind in a few years. but it hurts not being able to breathe right. it just hurts.
i took a shower and almost scalded myself the water was so hot. it helped me breathe a little easier. then i got out and i was gasping for air. i hate it.
i spent the night with kelsie last night. fun. i sneezed and coughed a billion times and only got a few hours sleep, but i had fun. i wil confess this here to kelsie right now, the real reason i wanted to sleep over was to make sure you were okay with everything. you don't talk, and that's not healthy. and the line in your post struck a chord. so i came, i saw, i sneezed. a-burn.
kelsie's family is really cool. her sisters are funny, and so is her little brother. the only thing i don't get is the rules they have set up, ones that actually make sense, but i have never followed, like waiting until you are 13 to watch a pg13 movie. but hey, kelsie turned out alright, so i cannot question her parents motives.
i was practically bawling in shifflet's class yesterday. oh, but don't you worry, nobody noticed. i was crying into my jacket, thanks. gracie looked like she was about to say something, but didn't. sometimes i wonder how great it was for me to put up a fight to go back. i just can't stand it here. everybody in my house fights all of the time. mom's constantly "being bad" and thinking it's cute. and it's not like i don't know what they do downstairs in their room. "im going to have some quiet time" yeah, okay. don't forget the lysol bottle for the smell. i came home and i started to write. it's actually pretty decent, or so i think. i can't really get conversations down, but i can get tone right. of course, my dad would never go for me going to unc to study under sarah dessen, because he thinks "ihavemorepotentialthanthat" but i don't think so. i don't have to breathe to be a writer, dad.
i don't have to see or breathe to be a writer. i just have to think.
7 comments:
hey, it's the unc girl. I read that Sarah Dessen teaches Creative Writing at UNC! I haven't read Someone Like You, but my friend loved it and she had me read Keeping the Moon. I guess I was mostly interested in it because North Carolina seems like a cool place, tuition isn't too bad, and I guess the atmosphere and programs looked good. It's far though, and I think I'll end up going to school in Chicago.
that's the main reason i wanted to go there (as you probably know). that's the coolest thing i've heard all week. but do you know if sarah dessen is still teaching there?
whoa. that's deep. and unc sounds like a great school, hillary
Oh, and I like the new template, Hillary!
thanks kaby. and i guess it is deep.
wow. you are sure having a lot of ups and downs lately. Mostly downs it seems. Its great that you have the blog to release your thoughts and also look back on them. I hope things get brighter for you soon. Sorry ur parents are so annoying :-/
they're not as annoying as they are sad...
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