Aha! Alas! I have found what truly makes me happy!
Singing.
Too bad I can't do it very well. Sure, better than others, but still.
Agh. Trying to break out of this funk. Somebody OD'd last weekend, and even though he's okay, he's not really. It wasn't accidental. Puts things in perspective. Sure, I'm not really all too happy right now, but I surely don't want to die. I haven't lived enough to do that yet. Which, incidentally, is probably why I'm depressed in the first place.
Ah. Okay. So in truth, I have been battling with this for a while. Feels good to get that out there, I guess. Stretches all the way back to the 7th grade. Ha! Crazy. I used to feel important telling people the extent of it, like I mattered. But I didn't really. I was just another statistic. It's ridiculous. That's what I like about this blog, though. I can go back and realize how bad it's gotten and how these little spells end. Even though it seems like they're coming more and more often, that's not true, because they're still the same speed as they usually are. Some people might call that bipolar, I guess, but I'm not going to diagnose myself with a disease I don't have.
I'm sure this makes little sense.
Last night I dreamt about the night I told my friends. They just went, "Okay," and we didn't talk about it again, haven't talked about it since. And it was this big thing for me. Just goes to show I blow stuff out of proportion. But we all knew that.
November soon. I think I like summer more. It's pretty cold in here.
1 comment:
I told you summer was better :)
I <3 u!
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