verbal constipation

It's not pretty. I know it. Constipation of the mouth. Where no matter what you do, you just can't seem to get out what you need to when you need to. You keep quiet in important situations where your voice could really help, and someone suffers because of it. Plus, it's just a really gross sounding name.

Fortunately (or possibly probably unfortunately), I'm not suffering from verbal constipation. I seem to have contracted the diseases exact opposite.

I can't shut up.

More specifically, I can't stop saying things that are unnecessary/mean/hurtful/stupid. I try. I really do. I hold it in, I think about an alternative thing to say, I even took some Pepto Bismal. Nothing seems to work. "What is with that ugly baseball cap you're wearing?" "Why on Earth did you think I'd appreciate a blue necklace?" And my personal favorite: "Nobody even likes Linkin Park," a statement that sent a certain pre-pubescent to his or her room crying.

Is there some kind of medication or something that should help?




On a sidenote, I'm also suffering from PTOS. Yes, it's true. I have Putting Things Off Syndrome. But we call it Pee Toss for short. I should be working on my Huck Finn project, because I know I'm not going to have time next weekend....but I'm sure as hell not about to start.