silly old weather

thanks to all the freaking rain that we've gotten almost EVERY SINGLE DAY this summer, the humidity's gone up like a billion percent. at least the heat's not as bad as it could be. but still, i feel sticky all over. argh, sometimes i hate this silly old weather!

do you ever feel like you're always holding back? i feel like that all the time. in my mind, i think before i speak, but that costs time, time that could better be used telling people what they need to do. in my house, i do all the chores. i clean dishes, i wash clothes and bathrooms, and i sweep floors. when i forget or have friends over, my mom freaks out. i want to tell her,"i work in the house every freaking day. i deserve to forget when i'm thinking about something like tory or when i have my friends over". seriously, this is the first time i had them over, and she expects me to clean the floors in front of them? to do the clothes? no.

last night i stayed up until 2:30 just thinking. i hate it when i do that. because generally, the later i stay up, the earlier i wake up. so i woke up at 7 this morning. i'm tired of thinking about tory. it's just so...heartbreaking.

the last day of school, everyone was in an uproar about whether or not the school was going to clean out his locker and all of the grafitti written on it in his name. there's "we miss you tory" all over the school. i pity the janitors because they'll have to clean it all up. i keep thinking that when they cleaned his locker, all of the teachers stood around and prayed. at least, i hope they did. i know we would have.

here i go, being all sad again. hopefully we'll be going to peachtree city soon, so i can see my grandmother and gracie and kelsie at the same time. drive the golf cart around, laugh about embryos, eat at partner's. oh yes, oh joy.