humor tumors

my head hurts. i think i may have a humor tumor. when mentioning this to my friend, gracias, she said that would be horrible. i dont think so there are the pros, such as, people will always have to be nice to me. i can stay up as late as i want because i will have to do nothing the next day unless i want to. i might get free dinners/ and or movie passes. then of course, death would be a big con. but movie passes are a good deal. i will look into the humor tumors...

i think my head might hurt because i was sniffing the glue in the art room. freaking papier mache projects, not giving me ample time to enjoy the smell of glue. and for those readers of my blog who are not in school, bite me. you had to go through it too, and now you have to go to work, so i dont wanna hear how much school sucks. i already know, thanks. and i'm sure you don't wanna hear about how much school sucks, because you've already been through it. but it's MY blog, and i don't care about demographics, thank you very much (-o mr. roboto).
i hope my brain pains go away soon, or i will go pull a lizzy borden and kill my parents, but there will be no substantial proof, so i will get away with it. but i won't pull an o.j. and get away with it because i've got money, no sirree. i'm poorer than farmers on green acres. except, since they're paid actors, they're probly richer than me.... but anyway, this just increases the size of my humor tumor...

and i think i'm going crazy, because i see something move and then it's not moving when i look directly at it... i must look into the signs of schizophrenia to see if i have this as well..

phone calls and obsessions

my mom has no time to watch tv shows during the middle of the week. so she records them, and tries to watch them on the weekend. the funny thing is, the phone rings every five seconds. it's kinda funny to sit in the gold room and hear her mumbling to herself when she has to pause the video and answer the phone. or when us *kids* stomp through the living room. it's funny. i laugh like chris when he was watching maid in manhattan, which is underrated.

today i looked around my room and realized how obsessed i can be. think about it: i have a healthy collection of bouncy balls, foil, spatulas, pillows, hair scrunchies, and rocks/marbles. and pictures, obviously. i love pictures....

it is great hanging out with kirstie sometimes. we get bored all of the time, because there is absolutely nothing to do until 10 minutes before she has to go. like, today, we made up a massive hopskotch game. i haven't played that game since i was 5. but we made a billion twists and turns up and down the street. it was awesome. my fastest time for the short one was 10 seconds, and the long one was 1 minute, 32 seconds, just in case you would like to know this...

i am waiting for desparate housewives to come on. i don't care that it's the most sexual show on right now. please, it's me. but i like the fact that the narrator killed herself. suicide is fascinating to me. it reminds me of the term barbed velvet. for them, i mean, it's gotta be. but anyway, let's move on from my obsessions, which includes my blog, i guess...

my friend, kelsie (www.kabys_blog.blogspot.com) is scaring me. she is saying it was her fault that her dad's bmw broke down because she thought it. i agree with her. now she knows the telepathic powers she possesses. be afraid. be very afraid...

i hate people, and their dalai lama worshipping ways, when everyone knows that richard nixon is the greatest spiritual leader of all time. he is not a crook, he is ugly as ugly can be, and his middle name is millhouse. what better spiritual leader could there be, honestly?

kelsie sent me a link to the funniest blog i have ever read. www.jermunns.blogspot.com

now i will go and complete the best salesmen costume EVER. yersh

well...

i'm even more frzzled today then i was yesterday. but that is because today, i have started my first day of school in stockbridge middle.

I got the letter yesterday, right after y 1st post, and then i put the other post because i was too excited to speak... or write. but anyway, back to my first day.

i thought it would be more fun, i'll be honest with you. last year was a blast. i should've expected it, i guess. it was all downhill from mrs oliver anyway... but i have to do make up work this weekend, because i was so behind from dutchtown. stupid dutchtown. i am probly gonna go to bed at like, 9:00 tonight. scratch that, i'm going to sleep as soon as i get offline.

and i am on the academic team. it was actually kinda stupid to worry about it. ms seagraves was like, "of course you're on. but maybe not if you're gonna be so stupid." and she said i'm most likely gonna be captain. YERSH!

but my mom is gonna have to miss a lot of work picking me up from school. i feel soooo guilty about that. i am hoping *cough cough* that my friends might be able to let me stay with them sometimes after school. because that would be cool.

stupid cd is skipping. i gotta go fix that....

goodness gracious

ohmigodohmigodohmigodohmigod.

more later....

nerves

my nerves are shot. my eyes are red. i want to sleep all of the time for some reason. it's insane. and then just when i'm about to go to bed, i find something that i need to do, and i can't go to sleep. i hate it. and i'm nervous, because i might not go back to stockbridge, but if i do i might not be able to be on the academic team, the one thing i really like.

i am serious. that's the only thing i look forward to, even at dutchtown. i like beating other people in the way that i know how. answering questions is my life. i was half temptem to throw away my nomination for student body president today. but i thought better of it and turned it in. i want to go to college, i wanna be somebody. i wanna study under sarah dessen at the university of north carolina. she is the most amazing writer, and can turn something as sad and depressing as abuse into a lessen learned with quirks along the way. i really am thinking of going there. of course, i am not exactly sure what i want to be when i grow up, but whatever. i think i need to be president to get into college. i don't care about the student body. i'm praying that another person wins, because they probably want it more or for the same reasons.

i am tired. i am frazzled. dutchtown is wearing me down to a nub. but don't worry. i've still got the hope of a letter back. that's all i need. that's all i want.

breathe

it's hard for me to breathe sometimes. when i cant breather, i hyperventalate, which only makes it worse. when i had to give my speech so people would vote for me for student government, i could barely get it out, i couldn't breathe at all. i will probably end up an old person with emphysyma (i dont think that's how it's spelled...). i will never smoke, will never be able to anyway, even if i wanted to. but if i keep living in a house with 3 packs a day, then i might end up with half of my breaths stolen right from me.

it's amazing how we idolize our parents when we're young. maybe even when we're in our teen years or early twenties (i can't know this, but i don't wanna offend anybody.) but then you realize something about your parents that must have always been there, it's just you're starting to notice it now. my dad cares nothing about other people. if you don't say yes sir, he will go upside your head. if you want to go home, he'll take the extra hour route just because you said that. my dad is the biggest jerk you have ever seen. and i'm seriously debating on some major things right now. and i want to talk this out with someone, but i'm embarrassed to do this with any of my friends. there parents are so nice. i don't think they'd understand anything. so i sit here, keeping it all locked up.

that's part of the reason i'm getting the letter to go back to stockbridge. they say that these problems are just arising because of my new environment. but i've never been able to talk about things with other people out loud. too much breath would be wasted, in my opinion, because they wouldn't get it.

i will tell you this. one day you will come onto this blog and see all of my secrets. every last one of them. and you will be so shocked. completely and utterly shocked. but i can't breathe it out right now. i'm choking for air.