a true story from a true friend's trials and tribulations

Anyway, so, I come out here, and get on the computer. I check all the stuff, email, myspace, etc., and then I see this freakin' centipede lookin' bug thing on the curtains. So, I freak out, and let a couple of obscenities loose. So, I run to the kitchen, and by the time I come back, he crawled down the curtain, and I can't see him anymore. So.. I go to my room and watch some more ROH.

So, I come back, eat some Peanut Butter Crunch, and sit down at the computer. Then, I go to plug my iPod up. After like, 10 minutes of trying, I finally get it, and then I see that freakin' bug on the curtains again. So, I'm ready this time. I'm all like, "Ima' kill you..." You can fill in the rest. So, I run and get some paper towels, and he starts climbing up the cords! So, I'm all freakin' out, because his legs are really freakin' gross. So, he climbs up to the keyboard, and I get a tissue. So, now I got a tissue, and some paper towel. So, he goes under the keyboard, and I move it. And there he is. And I'm like.. blam! So, I hit him wik the paper towel, and he keeps goin', so I do it a few more times. And once, I like, accidentally knock him off the table, so I'm all freakin' out. Then I see him. And the whole time I'm all yellin' at him. I'm sorry if this is a bit jumbled, but it just happened a few minutes ago. Then a get a coaster, and hit him a few times. He's really injured at this point, but still alive. So, I go to the cabinet, and get some Glade, and spray the crap outta' him. It doesn't really do anything, so I get some Windex and do the same. That didn't help much, either. Then, I get some insect repelent, and spray him. By this time, he looks dead, but just to make sure, I rolled over him wik the chair, like, 8 times. So, then I pick him up wik paper towel and throw him in the toilet. Because I'm stupid, I threw the paper towel in, as well, and the toilet is all stopped up now. But, I don't care, because I killed him. Man, I wish someone could have been here to see that; it was the most epic battle I've ever been in. Words cannot decribe his will to live, and mine to kill. Wow.