a priest, a rabbi, and a duck. walk into a bar....

this is where i feel like telling bad jokes. i'm bored and my eye is twitching for some reason, so leave me alone and let me tell my jokes, however plagearized they are.

A man comes running into a bar with a teeny tiny piano player with a teeny tiny piano. A guy (Steve) asks the man, "What's with the piano player and the piano.?" The man replies, "There's a Genie outside who will give you anything you ask for!" So Steve runs outside and sees the Genie. He says, "I wish for a million bucks!" BAM! He's surrounded by a million ducks. Steve walks back in the bar, very angry, and says, "That Genie's a crock. I asked for a million Bucks and got a million Ducks!" The man replies, "You think I asked for a twelve-inch pianist?"
*buh duh dun.*

Two men are sitting at a bar. One of the men gulps his drink, rips off his shirt, and jumps out the window. The other man is dumbfounded. Then, the jumping man floats right back through the window. A half hour later, the same man gulps his drink, rips off his undershirt, and jumps out the window. The man sitting at the bar is amazed when the man floats back through the window again. He asks the man, "How do you do that?" The man says, "The amount of alcohol in my blood system allows me to float with the wind currents. Anyone can do it." So the other man, emboldened by this, gulps his drink, rips off his shirt, and jumps out the window, where he falls to his death. The bartender says to the jumping man, "Man Superman, you sure are a mean drunk."

Little Mary tells the Mother Superior, "I want to be a prostitute!" The Mother Superior, shocked, shouts, "What did you say?!?!" Little Mary repeats, "I want to be a prostitute!" The Mother Superios looks relieved and says, "Oh, I thought you said you wanted to become a Protestant."

Richard Nixon, Jimmy Carter, and Bill Clinton are on the titanic. When it starts to sink Carter yells, "Quick, save the women and children!" Nixon: "Screw the women and children" Clinton: "Do we have time?

Here lies Richard M Nixon. (So what else is new?)

Yo momma's so fat even if she was the last person alive, the world would still be over populated! Yo mama's so fat, her picture fell of the wall.

I always like to end the day with some yo mama jokes, so there ya go.