was really a name in the credits for Pirates 3. Little funny that I went to a memorial service today.
It was very strange. Not enjoyable at all. Well, I mean, it shouldn't be, but it shouldn't make you feel bad, you know? I don't know how to describe it, so whatever. It made me think about how I'd want my death to go down. The funeral or memorial or what have you. And I'm fairly certain my parents wouldn't respect my wishes, because even though they're tolerant of OTHER people's beliefs, apparently they don't extend that to family. In other words: I want light on the God stuff, no mention of le Jesus whatsoever, and little to no Bible. They want a service only talking about walking into the light or what have you. I'd rather that, you know, never happened ever. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I don't believe in a Jesus. I don't believe in a Satan. The only reason I believe in God is because THAT makes sense. The world had to come about some way. It can't just BE. And I believe in Heaven because I believe in soulds because I believe every person is different because of their souls.
But I digress. If I were to die before my parents (which I hope is not the case, because that royally sucks for parents), I would very much like to be cremated and GOTTEN RID OF, not put on a mantel piece or something. I want my friends to tell my knock knock jokes and talk about what I was like and good times. None of this "she was a wonderful person who bladidadadida." No. ME. Not a generic saying.
Okay. This is a little morbid. Been a slow news day.
I felt so bad for him. This is the third son he's had to bury. Nobody should have to go through that. And I like to feel that I gave support by being there, but I barely said two words to him. But I love him so much. I just don't know how to convey it, because I don't always feel it back. Or maybe I do, I just don't think I deserve it.
It's been a very sad day for me. Some strength, would be nice. And strength for my grandpa, too.
9 comments:
I'm sorry. I'm sure your being there meant a lot to him.
God bless your family, H.
I'll be praying for y'all.
There's something I don't get:
Isn't a life without Jesus a little (teeny-tiny bit)... depressing?
And hopeless?
It's just foreign to me, I can't understand it.
You know?
Maybe?
Teeny-tiny bit?
Well, I'm still here praying.
And thanks for that other post, which I am to lazy to go back and find. Thanks for the "at least one Catholic family" thing. Much love <3
You know what? Not really. I mean, yeah, obviously, I do get sad and depressed sometimes, but before I even started telling you guys what I thought, I felt like that. I didn't really feel like Jesus was anything more than a story. And that bothered me. Then I got older, realized that not everybody did believe that Jesus was the son of God, and I thought, "Now that makes sense."
So it's not like I gave up anything really, ya know? It's kinda hard to explain I guess.
Well you know how I feel about the whole God thing.
Yeah.
You don't know what you're missing
:)
I guess you'd be right about that.
Then again, I don't actually know if I'm missing anything, so there's that.
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