my dream

i need to write this down so i dont forget it. last night i dreamed a weird dream.

it started out that i knew this girl in the 1950s. we were good little girl friends. one day, we went inside an old man's shed, and he caught us. he was very nice, and asked us to come inside and talk. we did, and he told my friend that she must do certain quests before she dies to make something better, i'm not sure what. the next thing i know, we're in high school, and she's a basketball star, and she receives a ring when she wins the game. then, she is married, has three children, and 5 rings. i am another one of her child, at least, she seems like a mother to me. i'm also both of her other daughters. it's very weird. then, this woman dies, and i'm at my middle school, cleaning out my locker and crying. i'm just sobbing and crying, and i can feel the sadness, and the teachers are wondering what's wrong with me. mr. shiflett tells people to leave me alone, and ms. shroyer helps me with my things.

and then i woke up, and i felt the biggest feeling of sadness. first it was because of the thought that my mother was dead, but then it was the thought that my mother wasn't her. she wasn't beautiful and caring and friendly. she's just my mom.

i know it makes me sound bad, and i love my mom, but how can i help thinking what i think? this is the woman who told me she was going to divorce my dad to make him realize that he was making a mistake. this is the woman who hasn't said another word about it, but must certainly be thinking about it.

and this is the woman who i love the most of all, but who i can barely stand most times. how is that? ugh, i can't hink anymore.