do you know what it feels like for a girl?

Just listening to that song. In my head.

I feel like writing. I feel like actually writing a novel this summer. I'm going to do it, too, dammit. If it kills me. So far, it seems like I'm going to have a lot of free time. I mean, I need to work. But I haven't found a job. So until that happens, I have no money, and nowhere to go. So yeah. There's that.

But I'm feeling the creative juices flowing right now. I think they're slowly ebbing away, but I hope I can find them. At least enough to do an outline of what I need for a story. Something that I could flesh out, maybe. Ugh, it's so frustrating. Half the time it feels like I want to write, and the other half it feels like I want to write in order to make money. When the second half comes out, I can't ever think of anything. Not because it's not pure, but because it puts so much pressure on me. "This next word will be my future." When I just let go and write, I'm told my stuff is fairly good. Probably because it's vaguely shocking.

Anyway. I need to write something other than my thoughts. But hopefully that means I'll be writing more in this blog. That nobody reads. Even my best friend forgot about it. But that's okay. I like the anonymity. It's freeing.