my scariest moment

as i've mentioned before, i dislike this guy shifflet. but he made me think about something that i haven't thought about for a while. today he asked us to think about and describe our scariest moment. thousands of things came into my mind, most of them involving mom and her bottle, but one stood out. now, when he said the scariest moment, i assume he meant when your gut wrenched so bad, you thought you would be sick. he might have just been thinking about "when i almost drowned," or "that time i fell off of a golf cart." i was thinking about when i felt the most unsafe.

when i was about three or four, i lived in another house. i slept in the same room with my mom, and so did my older brother. i'm not entirely sure on this, but one night, me, joey, and mom were huddled together in her room, and they were yelling at eachother. we three were in the bed, and dad had come in. dad started coming towards the bed and mom told him to back away. i started crying. dad punched the wall and left the room. my mom was rocking me and joey back and forth to calm us down. i fell asleep. its so blurry, i sometimes think it was a dream. but i feel so scared when i remember it, that if it were a dream, it'd still be the scariest part of my life.

i wanted to write it here because there are some things i can't write to someone i don't know but who i come in contact with everyday. the details of this thing. don't get me wrong, my dad has only whipped me when i did something wrong. but that man can yell. i think i'm more frightened of getting him mad then of anything else in the world. which is why i keep my grades up, try to stay out of trouble, try to be charming, try to not get on his nerves, be his listener, act interested in his stories. i would do anything for that man, but not just because i love him. i love my parents, both of them, it's just that's not the reason i do the things i do. you know what i mean? i'm sure you don't. kelsie couldn't even think of a scary moment. kelsie, i love you, but when you told me that, i wanted to slap you. not because i hate you or was mad or anything, at least, mad at you. but because i was so angry that you got to have no scary parts. ugh, but anyway, i love you.

i can't write anymore. my arm keeps freezing up. chynna, happy birthday girl. hope you have a great time being 14. what are we doing for your birthday? and what do you WANT for your birthday?

just when you thought the long posts were gone, THERE BACK!!! wun na na!