technically what I'm doing is called "eating your feelings," but I call it making my stomach less lonely.
I'm tired. I'm tired of school, of doing school work, of sitting here acting like any of this shit actually matters when I know that it doesn't. The petty dramas, the waiting by the phone. How could I be so stupid, to expect him to say yes?
Yes, it's about a boy. When is it not, is what I'd like to know? A stupid, ridiculous boy (who just so happens to complement me so perfectly it's amazing). Nope, it can't be about anything meaningful.
It's times like this that I feel like a stranger in my own home. In my very apartment. My roommates look at me like I've lost my mind, and I find myself explaining things away. Oh, I don't mean to say that, I'm just in a bad mood, I didn't sleep much last night, this girl in my class annoyed me, I ate some bad meat, I'm not hungry right now, no I'm not mad at you.
It's all just...ridiculous.
I'm going to go look at Jupiter, now.
1 comment:
I appreciate that you blog about your feelings. I too do this. I personally feel as though it helps me cope with these feelings. I realize it is no use for me to tell you not be critical of yourself, but I will anyway. Don't be so critical of yourself. Just keep venting your feelings because people will listen and maybe this will help you find the one you are really destined to be with.
Thank you.
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