insured

No job, my teeth healed fine, and I'm stressed about money for school and the amount of books I'm supposed to read this semester for my English classes.

Yep.

my teeth

have been removed. All of yesterday, I was just laying there, drooling blood, and I've been told that it was pretty gross. And then today, I feel much better, but still not close to 80 %. At least I don't have to have my mouth packed, though I do have to keep putting heat packs on it. I haven't taken any pain pills and I've been able to eat, so that's good.

Here's hoping that tomorrow I feel better still, and can actually stand up for more than a few minutes. Not that laying down all day has been bad. Except, you know, it's kinda boring. I've never been one able to doze off all day, so I've pretty much been laying here. And to top it off, my family keeps bringing home all of this delicious food, and all I can eat are mashed potatoes and soup. Lames.

On the bright side, I now have a total of two job interviews this week: Domino's and Payless. I'm hoping more for the Payless one, since I think that'll be more money. Plus, you know, food service...kinda over it. But yeah. I also got a job interview with Six Flags...tomorrow. And since they said no rescheduling, and I can barely talk, I had to turn it down. Oh well. It was a long drive anyway.

Okay. So there's that. Hoping I can get a job in the next few days and still be able to attend my friends'/cousin's graduations. That'd be peachy.

these are a few of my least favorite things

I'm getting my wisdom teeth taken out tomorrow.
And hopefully I will have healed enough to go to my job interview for Domino's on Tuesday. Or I'll just show up looking and feeling like a crackhead.

I applied for a bunch of jobs online the other day. One of them was for the company called Vector. Stupid me, I didn't really look into what they were about until after the CALLED me and set up an interview with me. When I realized that it was a telemarketing job, I cancelled my appointment. But they still keep calling me. Going to have to deal with that, but there is just no way I could be a telemarketer. I mean, unless I had to.

10 (good) pages down.

do you know what it feels like for a girl?

Just listening to that song. In my head.

I feel like writing. I feel like actually writing a novel this summer. I'm going to do it, too, dammit. If it kills me. So far, it seems like I'm going to have a lot of free time. I mean, I need to work. But I haven't found a job. So until that happens, I have no money, and nowhere to go. So yeah. There's that.

But I'm feeling the creative juices flowing right now. I think they're slowly ebbing away, but I hope I can find them. At least enough to do an outline of what I need for a story. Something that I could flesh out, maybe. Ugh, it's so frustrating. Half the time it feels like I want to write, and the other half it feels like I want to write in order to make money. When the second half comes out, I can't ever think of anything. Not because it's not pure, but because it puts so much pressure on me. "This next word will be my future." When I just let go and write, I'm told my stuff is fairly good. Probably because it's vaguely shocking.

Anyway. I need to write something other than my thoughts. But hopefully that means I'll be writing more in this blog. That nobody reads. Even my best friend forgot about it. But that's okay. I like the anonymity. It's freeing.

it's a snellabration!

For the first (and last) time, I'm sitting at the only all night dining hall on campus eating pizza and "studying." And by that I mean writing in my blog, because it's just been so long since I've done it. Not as long as I've gone previously, but still...

It's almost the end of my first year of college. Is it sad that I don't want to leave, now? I mean, I guess I've been able to separate the fact that no, I don't really like staying at home for the majority of my time. I do miss my friends, though. So it'll be fun seeing them.

In fact, we're going to have a late Wizarding Independence Day party to celebrate Harry Potter's defeat of Voldemort 12 years ago. Yeah, I know, we're nerds. But there will be a Hogwarts castle cake. And I get to hand out with all of my friends, did I mention that? It'll be good times, even if we don't do anything, which is awesome.

I've been kinda disappointed lately. I don't have a job (and I don't have one lined up for next semester, like I'd planned to do). Wednesday we went salsa dancing, and I seem to have been the only one in there who nobody wanted to dance with, which was downright embarrassing. Ugh, but I guess I'll go again, if only to break myself out of my studying stupor.

Speaking of which...I should probably work on that.

Later.

so...

This is awkward. The return. Sure, it's April. Sure, several months have passed. But I mean, it's not that I don't love you anymore. Because I do: I SO do. I just have other things on my mind.

Like, not being motivated to write.

But anyway. Here I am. Writing. Realizing that even if I can't write creatively, I mean, I still have the ability to type. Seriously. So. My life.

Signed up to keep going to UGA next semester, so that's cool. Actually, I'm signed up for 18 hours. Probably going to be terrible. But, you know, aiming to get done in 3 years. Not that it'll do me much good. But yep. Hoping that it's going to happen. I've also decided to live off campus with Katie and two other friends in an apartment. Hoping that that's going to work out.

Kinda worried about financial aid. Not too sure if it's going to come together, and also, can't find out how to fix it. Agggggh. Gotta work on that. Also gotta work on finding a job for the summer. Gotta be honest, kinda relying on my mom to hook me up. If she can't, then I don't know what I'm going to do. Try to work for Captain D's again, maybe. Look for a job in Peachtree City, since it might be a good idea to live with my grandmother for the summer. Like always, though, I'm all thinking, no action.

Ok. So, that about wraps up my life. Going out, being broke. Good stuff.

here it goes again

So I'll start off by my usual amount of bellyaching and depressing thoughts. I just don't want to be here. I feel this...weight on my chest, like a kind of physical grief. And the worst thing is, I don't understand why exactly. I put most of it on the fact that I miss my family terribly, I miss the way of life I've established for the first 18 years of my life. I'm thrown here with no friends, and I'm a terribly shy person. I don't know. I've got a weekend looming ahead and I'm not particularly looking forward to it as I have nothing to do really. When I'm in class, I'm fine, but outside of class....bleh. And there also happen to be these people downstairs from us that play their music ridiculously loud. And even when they aren't playing it, I'm afraid that they will, which makes me panic. I can't seem to relax when I'm here, I suppose. And it's driving me nuts. I have huge under eye circles and can't sleep. I don't know what to do.

Okay, on to the good news. New Years' was awesome. I spent the night at Sarah's, hung around with some decent people, and got to hang out with Kelsie all night. Then we had a repeat New Years' the following Saturday, which was even better. There was also a family reunion deal thing, with a bunch of people that I think are funny as opposed to the relatives that I can't stand, so that was nice. And tons of Partner's Pizza. Good stuff.

Think positive.